Wednesday, January 20, 2010

You Can't Make Me Happy - Don't Even Try

20 weeks, 5 days

Everyday for the last seven or eight weeks I have felt pregnant. Pregnant in different ways - most of them uncomfortable. Early on it was morning sickness all day long. It got to the point where I would eat a few bites of something and I could feel the gag starting. I didn't eat much and I didn't eat often. I drank lots of juice mixed with water and whimpered often.

Just after 12 weeks the morning sickness was gone and I was hungry. My stomach would growl just half an hour after eating. I snacked all the time. I won't even talk about the gas and the clever ways I am still forced to camouflage its sounds and smells. Anyhow, very quickly my pants became snug and then downright tight. I moved into my maternity pants with a sigh of relief. Of course most of my maternity pants are stretchy yoga pants and I really miss my jeans.

So I purchased a couple of Bellabands to hold up my jeans. This clever invention allows pregnant and, I suppose, chubby women to wear their too tight jeans. You pull up your jeans and leave them unzipped and unbuttoned. Then you pull on the Bellaband. This thing looks like a tube skirt from the 90's made of spandex. It covers the unbuttoned jeans and part of your belly above. It's a great little trick, of course I would spend the day adjusting it. Yank it down below - yank it up above. Got to be sure nothing is exposed. It looks cute sticking out under a shirt or sweater, but it's a high maintenance accessory.

The last few weeks I have also been experiencing heartburn. I have not had heartburn since I was in my early 20's and working at a stressful job in the hotel industry. The sensation of something nasty, pukey and achy rising in my throat is awful. I think my sitting posture may have something to do with it, but if I sit upright I am also uncomfortable. A stitch develops in my side. I think it's round ligament pain - normal, but annoying. Either way, I lose. So, it is what it is.

Today I wore maternity pants that are adjustable. They are somewhat like chinos, but look dressier. I also wore a nice, long sweater that requires no adjustment. I was so comfortable all day. My classes were well behaved and the day flew by. I ate a sandwich on seven grain bread for lunch instead of my usual overflowing plate from the salad bar - the salad bar that contains delicious beans that I heap on, need I say more? So I was comfortable that way too.

As I drove home I started thinking about how great I felt all day and so I began to worry. I am not supposed to be comfortable, I am pregnant! I felt my belly and somehow I didn't feel puffy enough. Nothing ached. Nothing burned. I was a bit worried. Was something wrong?

I hurried home. After greeting Griffin, the dog, the bird and the cats I went to the bathroom. Facing forward I didn't look particularly pregnant. I turned sideways and whoa-nelly! There's the belly. It seems to have changed shape from wide to puffed out in front today. Maybe it's the pants. I felt a little better and showed Griffin my puffball in its new shape.

After milling around the house, I decided to crash on the couch with my laptop. I filled a glass with Bolthouse juice - this thick, berry concoction - and sipped it as I checked my email. After 20 minutes the heartburn started. My belly felt like a little basketball pushing up my stomach. There was a little tugging on my left side again. And my pants were still comfy - well, except for the label in the back that I began to notice itching me. Ahhhh. Back to feeling pregnant and uncomfortable. Why can't I just savor the moments when I feel good? I guess those annoying feelings give me comfort that all is progressing. No pain, no gain, right?




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