Making the Move

22 Weeks, 1 day.

We met with the certified nurse midwife yesterday. Our appointment was at her home office and of course we arrived early. She didn't mind, invited us in and we sat down in a cozy room. She asked a couple of basic questions: where we lived, my due date, what week I was in and confirmed that we were looking to have a home birth.

Then she asked us if we had questions for her. I didn't know where to start, so she did. She practiced originally as a labor and delivery nurse starting in 1986 and then began doing home birthing in 1997 after going to midwifery school and doing an internship. She has delivered over 700 babies and assisted with another 1100 births.

She told us about her track record for home births. With her first time mothers have a 10% transfer rate to a hospital. That is pretty good, I had read it was 25% on average. She has never needed to do a transfusion for a mother although she could. She told us about her experience with different situations and what she would do. Her level of knowledge and confidence really made me feel comfortable. An OB would never do this - they wouldn't be expected to defend themselves and prove that they would be a good doctor for you.

She asked us to tell her about the pregnancy and what we were looking for in a birthing experience and why. I told her about the miscarriages and who we were currently seeing for care. I told her that I wanted to be home with my family included, if they want to be. I said I would like to invite my mother and father-in-laws and my brother and sister-in-law. (I think my brother would jump out of his skin, but I would invite him anyhow.) I said I wanted it to be fully natural and not be rushed. I didn't want things to spin out of control, which I think happens in hospitals far too often. She nodded a lot and asked questions that ensured me that she was listening to what I was saying and not just planning on what to say next.

She told us that she could do all of the prenatal care from here on out and we wouldn't need to continue going to the OB or perinatal group. She said she is affiliated with an OB in Morristown if we do run into any problems before 37 weeks. I told her that we had one more appointment in 5 weeks at the perinatal group for an ultrasound to check for growth. She said it wasn't necessary for us to continue to have ultrasounds and that the development of the baby could be palpated at this point. I wondered why my OB never did that.

I don't really have a problem leaving the OBs, frankly, I am glad to leave them. There are 3 doctors there and although they are very nice, they don't know me from Adam. In fact, they have gotten our due date wrong several times and keep asking the same questions about the previous miscarriages over and over even though this is all in my chart. The only thing they do every 4 weeks is check my blood pressure, weight, check my urine for protein and sugar, check the fetal heartbeat and then send me on my way. It always seems like a waste of time for us.

On the other hand, the perinatal group does all of the ultrasounds. It's wonderful getting to see Piper moving around inside me. They usually print out a few pictures for us to take home. Since we have now 'graduated' and don't need to be seen every two weeks, it seems like this is just going to be a novelty to keep seeing her through ultrasounds.

Now we have to decide whether we will go to the scheduled ultrasound appointment. The midwife said we didn't need to, but she didn't say we couldn't go. It's up to us. Griffin and I talked about it afterwords. He said he would be fine going one more time. The real question is whether he would be fine not going one more time. That is the question.

I have read over and over that ultrasounds in the third trimester are not necessary unless there is a problem, but we like the ultrasounds. It's so cool to see her and not just feel her inside me. I believe the next ultrasound would be our last one anyhow, so how could one more hurt? Do we care that it is unnecessary? Maybe this is why health insurance costs so much. Well, we have time to think about it.

We talked for almost an hour with the midwife. She asked questions, we asked questions and I felt like I knew more about her in one hour than I know about the OB I have been seeing for the last 2 years. It's a much more personal experience.

We told her that we were considering a waterbirth and she said she does a lot of them. She explained what we would need to get and how the logistics would work. It seemed to be pretty much as I had read.

I asked her again if she thought we were good candidates for home birth and she agreed. She said it's not for everyone and she can usually tell after speaking with a couple whether it is a good option for them. She said she would not take on anyone for home birthing that she thought could not handle it or if it would be too risky for mother and child.

Finally she told us that we would need to get a copy of my records from my OB's office. I thought about how fat my chart now was: filled with information about failed pregnancies. It also has all of the information from the NJ Perinatal Association. So much stuff that we want to put behind us. My only fear is telling the OB that we don't want to use them anymore. I don't know why that scares me. When we were there last time and I asked about a midwife, I could almost see the hackles going up on the doctor. They can't say 'no', can they?

We left the appointment feeling really positive about the whole thing. I asked Griffin if I sounded like a nut talking to her and he reassured me that I didn't. My reasons for wanting a home birth are equal parts emotional and logical. The thought of going to the hospital to deliver Piper makes my skin crawl. The last 4 times I was in a hospital was to have another failed pregnancy removed. I don't associate hospitals with anything good. Hospitals are where you go if you are sick, I am not sick. I am going to have a baby!