30 weeks and 2 days.
Last night was long and slow. Typically, if I find myself unable to sleep I will just lie in bed and think. I refuse to get up because my chances of ever getting back to sleep are slim to none. So I will just lie there and let my mind wander and hope that I drift off. Last night I spent about 6 hours thinking about how being pregnant is an awful lot like torture:
The first couple of months I was very excited to be pregnant again, but due to my track record I had to suppress those feelings and take on the 'wait and see' attitude. The only person I could discuss it with was Griffin and he was holding back his excitement even more than I was. Griffin didn't really want to talk about it and I didn't want to discuss it with anyone else. I felt like I was in solitary confinement.
By month three I was not only holding back on telling people I was pregnant, but also, I was barely holding back my lunch. Morning sickness kicked in in an evil way. Everything I ate made me never want to eat again. Smells would drive me out of a room. Going out for dinner was embarrassing, because I would have three bites and push my plate away. The only thing I really wanted to eat was ice cream and I knew that would be the fast track to gaining tons of weight, so I tried to limit myself as much as I could. Starvation - thy name is 'morning sickness'.
Month four saw the morning sickness pass and blind fear arrive. During the fourth month I had lots of tests done. Among these tests was the one that told us we were losing the last pregnancy. I think I held my breath for most of the month. We saw a doctor almost every week. I had so many blood tests I almost lost track of them. My doctors rarely remembered to call with the results, so I was constantly calling them. The nurses would pause when I would ask for a result, sometimes they would tell me right away and sometimes they would make me wait until the doctor could tell me. The waiting was excruciating. I don't think they had any idea how their reactions filled me with fear.
Entering the fifth month things were settling down. I was feeling good physically and most of the scary tests were behind me. This was actually my best month, and so, I felt guilty. My growing belly was becoming obvious and looked cute. People started to smile at me knowingly. Everything was going so well that I became paranoid. After all we had been through in the past, how could everything just be fine now? I was waiting for the 'gotcha', but the 'gotcha' didn't come, at least not then, but I wasn't paranoid for nothing.
Month six was the return of physical torture and first came heartburn. I had never really had heartburn and the strange feeling in my chest freaked me out a bit. It was like an itch you couldn't scratch. I sought out cold drinks like iced tea and milk and I was eating ice cream full force. The heartburn was annoying. From annoying, I went to uncomfortable. I developed some strange aches and pains in my chest. As my belly expanded it started making my ribs and muscles just below my breasts ache. It was irritating and I spent a lot of time with my arms crossed just under my chest. I bought new bras, I wore different shirts and at any chance I got I stuffed a pillow in to lift and separate. And then the real heavy duty torture began - sciatica! I was just short of wishing for death at that point.
So, here I am at month seven and the sciatica has been reduced to a mild pain in the ass. When it was really bad I felt no other pain or discomfort, so now that it is a mere dull roar, I can go back to focusing on heartburn. Burn, burn, burn. I am discovering what makes it rise up - spicy food, fruit juice, vinegar, tomato sauce, lying down, sitting up and not eating enough ice cream! Last night we went out to dinner with the in-laws to a favorite pizza joint. I ate fried jalapeno breaded ravioli, a big salad with the house vinaigrette and stuffed shells with extra sauce.
The entire time Piper kicked me. Kick, kick, kick. I thought it was because I was wearing slightly tight corduroy maternity pants and not my usual stretchy yoga pants, but perhaps she was kicking me and calling me an idiot. How could I combine so many foods together that would ignite my heartburn? The only thing I could do that would make it worse it not to eat any ice cream - and so I did just that - I didn't eat any ice cream.
I spent a couple of hours on the couch with Griffin. I moaned softly most of the time. If only I had a bit of room in my stomach, I could have topped it all off with some nice, cold ice cream - it was waiting for me in the freezer. Instead, I just tried to get comfortable and let the food digest. No such luck.
By the time we were going to bed I had eaten four Tums and drank milk and water and none of it was doing a lick of good. I rolled over and over and finally I sat up partially in bed. I had two big pillows propped behind my back putting me at a 45 degree angle. It helped the heartburn, but there was no way in hell that I could sleep like that. So I spent a few hours thinking. Actually, I would sit that way for a while and then try to lie down again and I could feel the acid and whatnot bubbling up my throat. It felt like my prenatal vitamins were still sitting at the back of my tongue. I willed myself to not throw up. The real torture here was not just the heartburn, but also the sleep deprivation. I suppose this is good practice for when Piper is on the outside, I imagine I won't be getting much sleep then either.
This morning I feel pretty good considering last night. My girth is making it rather difficult to get up, bend over and waddle around. I guess this will be the next form of pregnancy torture - "beached whale simulation". Oh, I can't wait!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Time is Dragging
29 Weeks, 6 days
I am distracted. I have 6 weeks left until I go on maternity leave and I am having a hard time focusing on work. It seems that most of the teachers I work with are also having a hard time focusing. Governor Christie has cut our budget by 7 million or so for Parsippany and the district will have to make cuts to fill the gap. It has become such a distraction here that there are few conversations about anything else. Either some teachers will be out of a job or the lot of us will have to take a pay freeze. I am annoyed and disgusted by the whole thing and I just want to focus on myself. I have become completely self-absorbed now.
There are only 10 weeks left until my due date. I am uncomfortable most of the time now, but at least the sciatic pain has been reduced away to almost nothing. My feet and ankles swell and then they don't. I grunt or moan every time I stand up, sit down or try to roll over in bed. My feet are starting to seem very far away and I have decided to get a pedicure during spring break. I still have toenail polish from September on my big toes. Typing has become a challege, because my fingers have forgotten where the keys are. My spelling has gotten even worse; I appreciate spell check all the more now. My mind wanders constantly and I waddle when I walk. And I still have 10 weeks left!
Piper is finding interesting ways to stretch inside me. She seems to curl up in a ball and then push out in all directions. A large bump slowly forms, making my belly rather lopsided. I have read that she may eventually start pushing her feet out and they could be distinguishable as feet. It's a curious process, being pregnant.
I think about how life will change when she is born. I know it will change, but I don't really know how. I am already distracted at work and she is being carted around with me. How will I focus in September when I have to leave her at home with Griffin and my father-in-law manny, Jan? I will be filled with thoughts of two men and a baby.
I am so distracted that I can't even focus enough to write. My mind wanders to the future. Everyone tells me it will be here before I know it, but to me it has been dragging on for what feels like forever. We have been trying to do the whole baby thing for nearly 3 years, so what's 10 more weeks? And really, what's 6 more weeks at work? There is spring break, weekends, Fridays barely count . . . but it is just dragging right now. I need a good distraction.
I am distracted. I have 6 weeks left until I go on maternity leave and I am having a hard time focusing on work. It seems that most of the teachers I work with are also having a hard time focusing. Governor Christie has cut our budget by 7 million or so for Parsippany and the district will have to make cuts to fill the gap. It has become such a distraction here that there are few conversations about anything else. Either some teachers will be out of a job or the lot of us will have to take a pay freeze. I am annoyed and disgusted by the whole thing and I just want to focus on myself. I have become completely self-absorbed now.
There are only 10 weeks left until my due date. I am uncomfortable most of the time now, but at least the sciatic pain has been reduced away to almost nothing. My feet and ankles swell and then they don't. I grunt or moan every time I stand up, sit down or try to roll over in bed. My feet are starting to seem very far away and I have decided to get a pedicure during spring break. I still have toenail polish from September on my big toes. Typing has become a challege, because my fingers have forgotten where the keys are. My spelling has gotten even worse; I appreciate spell check all the more now. My mind wanders constantly and I waddle when I walk. And I still have 10 weeks left!
Piper is finding interesting ways to stretch inside me. She seems to curl up in a ball and then push out in all directions. A large bump slowly forms, making my belly rather lopsided. I have read that she may eventually start pushing her feet out and they could be distinguishable as feet. It's a curious process, being pregnant.
I think about how life will change when she is born. I know it will change, but I don't really know how. I am already distracted at work and she is being carted around with me. How will I focus in September when I have to leave her at home with Griffin and my father-in-law manny, Jan? I will be filled with thoughts of two men and a baby.
I am so distracted that I can't even focus enough to write. My mind wanders to the future. Everyone tells me it will be here before I know it, but to me it has been dragging on for what feels like forever. We have been trying to do the whole baby thing for nearly 3 years, so what's 10 more weeks? And really, what's 6 more weeks at work? There is spring break, weekends, Fridays barely count . . . but it is just dragging right now. I need a good distraction.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Dare I Say It?
29 Weeks.
I am almost afraid to say it out loud, but it seems that my pain in the butt is starting to go away! It was just wonderful to have so many folks concerned about me and giving me loads of ideas on what to do to help relieve me of my pain. I am so grateful to be lucky enough to be surrounded by such caring people!
I am now able to walk without wincing and sucking in my breath. The searing pain has been reduced to an annoying sharp poke. The strength in my left leg is returning allowing me to walk up and down stairs at an almost normal speed. I am finding that there are moments when I even forget that I have any pain at all! For many days it was all I could focus on.
Here are some things that seemed to set me on the road to recovery:
Heat. I continued to use my heating pad on my leg and lower back everyday. On Monday, I started bringing it to school and using it there too. I switched it on for 10 or 15 minutes and tried to relax my leg. The heat helped loosen my muscles that had become very tense from anticipating pain.
Sitting. One of the hardest things for me is to stay in my seat. At work I am usually up and about helping students and running around the school doing things. I made a conscious effort to rest and sit more. Students came up to me for help whenever possible and when it wasn't possible, I sat in my wheely chair and rolled around to them. I only used my right leg to push myself around and avoided straining my left leg. I also did a lot of sitting at home. Griffin has been just wonderful. He hops up when I need something and tells me to stay put. He has done my laundry and cooked several meals. I really am lucky to have such a kind and generous husband.
Pillows. A pillow in the proper place seems to make a huge difference with my positioning. I took the advice of a couple of people and am sleeping with my body pillow between my legs all the way down to my ankles. I am focusing on keeping my legs aligned and not crossed over each other. Before I started doing this, I think I was sleeping with one leg tossed over the other and it was twisting my spine and hips. This is probably why my sciatica hurt so much when I would first get up in the morning.
Shoes. I switched to only wearing my Earth Shoes. I love my Birkenstocks, but they were doing nothing for me with this pain. My Earth Shoes have a negative heel that pushes your posture up. I always feel a little taller wearing these and they also exercise your calves at the same time. It also helps that they are not clogs so they stay on my feet without effort.
Back brace. When I first got my Mommy to Be back support, I was skeptical that it would do anything for me. It took me a few days of experimenting with the position to figure out what would help, but now that I have, it has been a great addition to my back repair regimen. I have to wear it really low below my ever-bulging belly. It lifts my belly up and takes the pressure off my lower back a bit. Piper seems to hate it. She kicks at it every time I sit down wearing it, so I guess it must be squashing her happy home a bit. She certainly seems to be aware that I have it on.
Distractions. DVDs, PBS online, books, emails, buttons, felting and ice cream have all been great distractions for me. The more I focused on the pain the worse I felt. My lowest moment was over the weekend when I decided to take a hot bath and soak for a while. Well, the water never really was hot enough and it was a major struggle to just get into the tub. Once I was sitting there every little movement triggered the pain and I was then trapped. Out of nowhere, I burst into tears. It was just a moment later that Griffin came into the bathroom to tell me he was going to leave to pick up his brother David from work. He saw me crying and rushed in and saved me. After he got me out of the tub, fetched my clothes and helped me get dressed, I became a little more composed and parked on the love seat with my heating pad for the rest of the day. I was forced into relaxing and it was a very good thing for me.
Feeling the love. It was also really reassuring to hear from so many people that they have gone through this too. Sometimes I start to feel a little crazy and alone with this pregnancy. I spend a lot of time inside my head thinking about everything. I was reassured by the outpouring of kindness from so many people. Thank you.
I am almost afraid to say it out loud, but it seems that my pain in the butt is starting to go away! It was just wonderful to have so many folks concerned about me and giving me loads of ideas on what to do to help relieve me of my pain. I am so grateful to be lucky enough to be surrounded by such caring people!
I am now able to walk without wincing and sucking in my breath. The searing pain has been reduced to an annoying sharp poke. The strength in my left leg is returning allowing me to walk up and down stairs at an almost normal speed. I am finding that there are moments when I even forget that I have any pain at all! For many days it was all I could focus on.
Here are some things that seemed to set me on the road to recovery:
Heat. I continued to use my heating pad on my leg and lower back everyday. On Monday, I started bringing it to school and using it there too. I switched it on for 10 or 15 minutes and tried to relax my leg. The heat helped loosen my muscles that had become very tense from anticipating pain.
Sitting. One of the hardest things for me is to stay in my seat. At work I am usually up and about helping students and running around the school doing things. I made a conscious effort to rest and sit more. Students came up to me for help whenever possible and when it wasn't possible, I sat in my wheely chair and rolled around to them. I only used my right leg to push myself around and avoided straining my left leg. I also did a lot of sitting at home. Griffin has been just wonderful. He hops up when I need something and tells me to stay put. He has done my laundry and cooked several meals. I really am lucky to have such a kind and generous husband.
Pillows. A pillow in the proper place seems to make a huge difference with my positioning. I took the advice of a couple of people and am sleeping with my body pillow between my legs all the way down to my ankles. I am focusing on keeping my legs aligned and not crossed over each other. Before I started doing this, I think I was sleeping with one leg tossed over the other and it was twisting my spine and hips. This is probably why my sciatica hurt so much when I would first get up in the morning.
Shoes. I switched to only wearing my Earth Shoes. I love my Birkenstocks, but they were doing nothing for me with this pain. My Earth Shoes have a negative heel that pushes your posture up. I always feel a little taller wearing these and they also exercise your calves at the same time. It also helps that they are not clogs so they stay on my feet without effort.
Back brace. When I first got my Mommy to Be back support, I was skeptical that it would do anything for me. It took me a few days of experimenting with the position to figure out what would help, but now that I have, it has been a great addition to my back repair regimen. I have to wear it really low below my ever-bulging belly. It lifts my belly up and takes the pressure off my lower back a bit. Piper seems to hate it. She kicks at it every time I sit down wearing it, so I guess it must be squashing her happy home a bit. She certainly seems to be aware that I have it on.
Distractions. DVDs, PBS online, books, emails, buttons, felting and ice cream have all been great distractions for me. The more I focused on the pain the worse I felt. My lowest moment was over the weekend when I decided to take a hot bath and soak for a while. Well, the water never really was hot enough and it was a major struggle to just get into the tub. Once I was sitting there every little movement triggered the pain and I was then trapped. Out of nowhere, I burst into tears. It was just a moment later that Griffin came into the bathroom to tell me he was going to leave to pick up his brother David from work. He saw me crying and rushed in and saved me. After he got me out of the tub, fetched my clothes and helped me get dressed, I became a little more composed and parked on the love seat with my heating pad for the rest of the day. I was forced into relaxing and it was a very good thing for me.
Feeling the love. It was also really reassuring to hear from so many people that they have gone through this too. Sometimes I start to feel a little crazy and alone with this pregnancy. I spend a lot of time inside my head thinking about everything. I was reassured by the outpouring of kindness from so many people. Thank you.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
What Else Can I Do?
I woke up this morning and headed to the bathroom as usual. It was only 6:30 so I went back to be to attempt to sleep in on this rainy Sunday morning. It occurred to me as I was lying there that I did not feel Piper kicking around. She is usually awake before I am in the morning. I began to focus on my belly to feel her move.
I think those few fleeting months of feeling great, being happy and looking forward to the very near future are over. Since this horrid sciatica has taken hold, so have my worries and fears about the pregnancy.
I have been wearing a back brace for three days and I am concerned that it is squashing my little grub. Everything I have read says that is impossible. She is well protected by many layers of me and is floating in her protective amniotic fluid, but every time I have the belt on I can feel her kicking against it. I am concerned that it is cramping her comfy fishbowl home.
When Piper didn't give me her usual early morning wake-up call, I became concerned to the point of actually worrying. I laid on my left side and waited. After a bit of time I felt her squirm around and then kick. It was rather a weak kick and that concerned me. She rolled around and kicked a few more. None with the strength to my satisfaction. I might have fallen back asleep after that.
When we got up a while later, I limped around the house and got my back brace on. I tried to fit it as low on my waist as I could. I don't know if the brace is really helping my back, but I will keep using it for a while. I had some cereal and blueberries and settled down on the couch to do some reading. I feel fine when I am sitting, especially with my feet up, it's when I get up to do anything that the pain strikes me now.
On weekends, I normally drink a cup of coffee before I eat breakfast, but with Piper seeming so sluggish I decided to eat first. After eating I could feel her bumping around as usual and even now as I sit here typing this, she is kicking hard enough to make me jump. So, she is back to her usual self. I guess there was actually nothing wrong this morning and she was just 'sleeping in' with the rest of us. Even the cats did not start crying until 7:30. Yet, I could not seem to help myself and begin to worry at the slightest sign of trouble.
I think this pain is driving me mad. If I sit on the couch with a heating pad under the painful cheek for 15 minutes or so, I feel fine for a while and I can actually walk normally, but the pain soon comes back. I would think that I would feel best in the morning after resting all night, but I don't. I feel best at night when we are sitting on the couch watching a DVD and I have my trusty heating pad on. I think I am going to need to take this to school with me tomorrow or else I will not survive.
Our plan for today was to clear out the stuff in the room that will become the nursery. There isn't that much in there now. It was one of those rooms that just became storage and a place to put things that had no place. There were two bookshelves filled with some vintage glass and pottery and some of my stuff too. A few pieces of furniture are going to be removed with the help of Griffin's younger brother David.
We even went to Home Depot yesterday and bought paint for the room. We bought their 'green' line of paint "Freshaire" which is a very eco-friendly paint and contains no VOC's and is GreenGuard certified, also. We picked out a warm yellow for the walls and a darker golden color for the trim. Since painting the old house, we have really come to love painting the trim with non-white, contrasting colors. Anyhow.
Griffin and I discussed clearing out the shelves and where the stuff would go. Some of my stuff would get put into the basement and some would go into the big sun room. We were sitting in the library when Griffin announced he was ready to start moving stuff and I followed him. As I got up, the sciatica stabbed me in the ass, but I tried to ignore it and keep moving. Sometimes it just works itself out. Not this time.
I dragged myself into the sun room as Griffin carried the stuff in a few at a time and piled them on the coffee table. I was supposed the take them from the coffee table and put them onto the beautiful shelves my father-in-law build for me. Every bend, every step, every breath was excruciating. I sucked in my breath every time it caught me.
Griffin saw what was going on and brought a wheely chair for me to sit on to roll back and fourth. I wheeled, but it wasn't helping. I got a blanket, folded it up, kneeled on it and tried sliding back and fourth. I felt fine as long as I didn't move. So this didn't help either. I stood up and tried to walk carefully back and fourth. It was my best option, but it took forever. It hurt so back that when I saw Griffin watching me I started to laugh. I know how ridiculous I look. If I don't laugh, I may cry.
I am not used to having any pain in my body. I rarely even get sick. When I have a cold, I ignore it and keep on working and it goes away in a couple of days. This pain in not going away and I cannot ignore it. I will try to focus on using the heat for 15 minutes every hour for the next few days until we see Judy, our midwife on Thursday. I am hoping she will have some solution for me. If she doesn't, I will have to look for other options like physical therapy. I will NOT go to a chiropractor. Don't even get me started on that quackery. I would sooner cram Chinese herbs up my ass for a month than have some charlatan doctor 'cracking' my back. But I digress.
This may be a very long week for me and I will certainly be walking around with one very warm butt cheek, but hopefully, I will be in less pain. I can't go on in pain like this and continue working. Moving around at a snail's pace is insane when dealing with a room full of teenagers, but what else can I do?
I think those few fleeting months of feeling great, being happy and looking forward to the very near future are over. Since this horrid sciatica has taken hold, so have my worries and fears about the pregnancy.
I have been wearing a back brace for three days and I am concerned that it is squashing my little grub. Everything I have read says that is impossible. She is well protected by many layers of me and is floating in her protective amniotic fluid, but every time I have the belt on I can feel her kicking against it. I am concerned that it is cramping her comfy fishbowl home.
When Piper didn't give me her usual early morning wake-up call, I became concerned to the point of actually worrying. I laid on my left side and waited. After a bit of time I felt her squirm around and then kick. It was rather a weak kick and that concerned me. She rolled around and kicked a few more. None with the strength to my satisfaction. I might have fallen back asleep after that.
When we got up a while later, I limped around the house and got my back brace on. I tried to fit it as low on my waist as I could. I don't know if the brace is really helping my back, but I will keep using it for a while. I had some cereal and blueberries and settled down on the couch to do some reading. I feel fine when I am sitting, especially with my feet up, it's when I get up to do anything that the pain strikes me now.
On weekends, I normally drink a cup of coffee before I eat breakfast, but with Piper seeming so sluggish I decided to eat first. After eating I could feel her bumping around as usual and even now as I sit here typing this, she is kicking hard enough to make me jump. So, she is back to her usual self. I guess there was actually nothing wrong this morning and she was just 'sleeping in' with the rest of us. Even the cats did not start crying until 7:30. Yet, I could not seem to help myself and begin to worry at the slightest sign of trouble.
I think this pain is driving me mad. If I sit on the couch with a heating pad under the painful cheek for 15 minutes or so, I feel fine for a while and I can actually walk normally, but the pain soon comes back. I would think that I would feel best in the morning after resting all night, but I don't. I feel best at night when we are sitting on the couch watching a DVD and I have my trusty heating pad on. I think I am going to need to take this to school with me tomorrow or else I will not survive.
Our plan for today was to clear out the stuff in the room that will become the nursery. There isn't that much in there now. It was one of those rooms that just became storage and a place to put things that had no place. There were two bookshelves filled with some vintage glass and pottery and some of my stuff too. A few pieces of furniture are going to be removed with the help of Griffin's younger brother David.
We even went to Home Depot yesterday and bought paint for the room. We bought their 'green' line of paint "Freshaire" which is a very eco-friendly paint and contains no VOC's and is GreenGuard certified, also. We picked out a warm yellow for the walls and a darker golden color for the trim. Since painting the old house, we have really come to love painting the trim with non-white, contrasting colors. Anyhow.
Griffin and I discussed clearing out the shelves and where the stuff would go. Some of my stuff would get put into the basement and some would go into the big sun room. We were sitting in the library when Griffin announced he was ready to start moving stuff and I followed him. As I got up, the sciatica stabbed me in the ass, but I tried to ignore it and keep moving. Sometimes it just works itself out. Not this time.
I dragged myself into the sun room as Griffin carried the stuff in a few at a time and piled them on the coffee table. I was supposed the take them from the coffee table and put them onto the beautiful shelves my father-in-law build for me. Every bend, every step, every breath was excruciating. I sucked in my breath every time it caught me.
Griffin saw what was going on and brought a wheely chair for me to sit on to roll back and fourth. I wheeled, but it wasn't helping. I got a blanket, folded it up, kneeled on it and tried sliding back and fourth. I felt fine as long as I didn't move. So this didn't help either. I stood up and tried to walk carefully back and fourth. It was my best option, but it took forever. It hurt so back that when I saw Griffin watching me I started to laugh. I know how ridiculous I look. If I don't laugh, I may cry.
I am not used to having any pain in my body. I rarely even get sick. When I have a cold, I ignore it and keep on working and it goes away in a couple of days. This pain in not going away and I cannot ignore it. I will try to focus on using the heat for 15 minutes every hour for the next few days until we see Judy, our midwife on Thursday. I am hoping she will have some solution for me. If she doesn't, I will have to look for other options like physical therapy. I will NOT go to a chiropractor. Don't even get me started on that quackery. I would sooner cram Chinese herbs up my ass for a month than have some charlatan doctor 'cracking' my back. But I digress.
This may be a very long week for me and I will certainly be walking around with one very warm butt cheek, but hopefully, I will be in less pain. I can't go on in pain like this and continue working. Moving around at a snail's pace is insane when dealing with a room full of teenagers, but what else can I do?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Who's Got That Voodoo Doll?
Many years ago I remember watching an episode of Gilligan's Island that had a crazy witchdoctor running around on the island. He made voodoo dolls of all of the castaways and would do evil things to the dolls and it would effect the person the doll was made for. I seem to remember him jabbing pins into one of the dolls and that person having excruciating pain on their body in the exact the spot that the witchdoctor pricked on the doll. The person had no idea where the pain was coming from and was shocked with agony at the most inconvenient moments. It was funny at the time.
I am now wondering who has made a voodoo doll of me. Who have I slighted so badly that they are compelled to stick pins in a cursed doll made in my image? Gosh, it could be so many people! Being a teacher for 12 years, I am sure I have made a few students angry. I have also purposely driven slow too driving someone nuts. There was a time when I even said painfully truthful things to people with total disregard for their feelings. It could be just about anyone.
The shocking and now debilitating pain I am experiencing is in my butt; my left cheek to be specific. Some might call the pain sciatica, some might call it pelvic girdle syndrome, I call it one big pain in the ass.
It started almost two weeks ago. Every time I would bend at the waist to pick something up I would get a shooting pain from my lower back into my left butt cheek. I started bending at the knees to pick things up and it prevented the pain from striking me. I thought I had this all figured out.
The pain started to hit me when I bent even slightly at the waist, the position I often take when I helping at student with something at school. They ask me to look at something, they are sitting at a table, I walk over, bend to look and WHAMMO! Pain in my ass. Okay, no more bending at the waist.
I started sitting on a chair with wheels and rolling from student to student to help them. It looks a little silly, but the expression I was making as the searing pain coursed through my ass cheek was far more ridiculous. At home it is a little more difficult to wheel around, so I was just trying to watch my posture and avoid bending. I never realized how often I need to bend during the day.
The pain, being a clever nemisis, found a new way to attack me, it's called 'one false move'. Virtually any movement now that involves bending, twisting, stooping, crouching, leaning, crossing my legs, or breathing sends a variety of pains into my already sore fanny. I have begun to limp around, favoring my left leg. I am the Hunch-Belly of Lake Mohawk.
My face, normally filled with the joyful glow of a successful pregnancy, is now masked with a miserable grimace. This pain is ruining my chances of getting more compliments about how great I look. People are starting to notice my expression of ass-horror. They look a bit worried.
I have been looking around online to find a cure or solution to my problem. A pregnancy back brace seemed to help a lot of people, so I ordered one. It came by FedEx today, and I am looking at it now with fingers crossed. Of course, I couldn't put it on as soon as I got home because today is my day for my progesterone injection. The brace would cover the spot that I get the injection and I would have to take it off anyhow.
Well, my visiting nurse has come and gone and I got my shot. She alternates sides each week and it figures, today was my left side. Man did that hurt! I am so tired of being in pain, but I have been told it will get worse before it gets better. Great.
For those of you who were wondering why I hadn't blogged in such a long time and if everything was okay, well there you go, the past week and a half have been a pain in the ass. I haven't had the energy to sit and write, don't really have it now, but the school nurse convinced me to take tomorrow off and sit on the couch all day - so that gave me a little lift.
And if you are out there, somewhere, in cyberspace with a voodoo doll of me with a bunch of pins in the butt, please have mercy! Stick me if you must, but switch to the other cheek for a while. Please!
I am now wondering who has made a voodoo doll of me. Who have I slighted so badly that they are compelled to stick pins in a cursed doll made in my image? Gosh, it could be so many people! Being a teacher for 12 years, I am sure I have made a few students angry. I have also purposely driven slow too driving someone nuts. There was a time when I even said painfully truthful things to people with total disregard for their feelings. It could be just about anyone.
The shocking and now debilitating pain I am experiencing is in my butt; my left cheek to be specific. Some might call the pain sciatica, some might call it pelvic girdle syndrome, I call it one big pain in the ass.
It started almost two weeks ago. Every time I would bend at the waist to pick something up I would get a shooting pain from my lower back into my left butt cheek. I started bending at the knees to pick things up and it prevented the pain from striking me. I thought I had this all figured out.
The pain started to hit me when I bent even slightly at the waist, the position I often take when I helping at student with something at school. They ask me to look at something, they are sitting at a table, I walk over, bend to look and WHAMMO! Pain in my ass. Okay, no more bending at the waist.
I started sitting on a chair with wheels and rolling from student to student to help them. It looks a little silly, but the expression I was making as the searing pain coursed through my ass cheek was far more ridiculous. At home it is a little more difficult to wheel around, so I was just trying to watch my posture and avoid bending. I never realized how often I need to bend during the day.
The pain, being a clever nemisis, found a new way to attack me, it's called 'one false move'. Virtually any movement now that involves bending, twisting, stooping, crouching, leaning, crossing my legs, or breathing sends a variety of pains into my already sore fanny. I have begun to limp around, favoring my left leg. I am the Hunch-Belly of Lake Mohawk.
My face, normally filled with the joyful glow of a successful pregnancy, is now masked with a miserable grimace. This pain is ruining my chances of getting more compliments about how great I look. People are starting to notice my expression of ass-horror. They look a bit worried.
I have been looking around online to find a cure or solution to my problem. A pregnancy back brace seemed to help a lot of people, so I ordered one. It came by FedEx today, and I am looking at it now with fingers crossed. Of course, I couldn't put it on as soon as I got home because today is my day for my progesterone injection. The brace would cover the spot that I get the injection and I would have to take it off anyhow.
Well, my visiting nurse has come and gone and I got my shot. She alternates sides each week and it figures, today was my left side. Man did that hurt! I am so tired of being in pain, but I have been told it will get worse before it gets better. Great.
For those of you who were wondering why I hadn't blogged in such a long time and if everything was okay, well there you go, the past week and a half have been a pain in the ass. I haven't had the energy to sit and write, don't really have it now, but the school nurse convinced me to take tomorrow off and sit on the couch all day - so that gave me a little lift.
And if you are out there, somewhere, in cyberspace with a voodoo doll of me with a bunch of pins in the butt, please have mercy! Stick me if you must, but switch to the other cheek for a while. Please!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Maybe I Need Some Applesauce
26 weeks, 2 days.
I can't believe that in about three months I will have a baby. I woke up this morning with that thought in my head. It doesn't seem real. After all of the failed pregnancies, I have just gotten used to the idea of being able to successfully keep one alive inside me. Now in three months I have to figure out how to get it out? And what to do with it once it is out?
Griffin and I have lots of plans, theories and intentions, but the actual day-to-day stuff mystifies me. It is not that I will be responsible for another life, that concept I am used to, after all, I have pets. Maybe it is the idea that I, we, will be focusing our lives on this new 'pet'. I am assuming everything that I am now doing with either change, minimize or disappear altogether, but to actually have it happen is another thing.
The last two days were a bit freaky. On Friday, our second snow day in a row, I got ready to take a shower. I got Eleu, our green wing macaw (pronounced Eee-loo), out of his cage and let him stand on one of the fixtures in the shower. Yes, I shower with my parrot. (It's like showering with a friend, but never having to worry about dropping the soap.) The water was running and I got in.
Eleu was chatting and fluffing as he usually does in the shower. He likes to ruffle his feathers in the steam. I washed my face as he continued babbling away. He makes noises in the shower that he doesn't make anywhere else. We have had Eleu almost seven years now; raised him since he was 8 weeks old, I hand fed him for the first five months, and I am very attached to him. I put Eleu on the floor of the shower so he could run around.
When Eleu is on the shower floor, I don't do anything else. I focus all of my attention on him, I wouldn't want to be washing my hair and accidentally step on him. Eleu crouched on the floor as he usually does and I bounced the water off my hands to give him a soft spray. The light in the bathroom can be a little weird and can play tricks on your eyes, so as I was looking down at the water flowing into the drain, thought it was curious that it looked sort of pink. At first I thought it was just the light, but as I looked more closely I could see that it was blood mixed in the water.
My first thought was that I was bleeding. My heart began to pound. I have not had any bleeding with this pregnancy, but bled many times with the last ones and sometimes in the shower. I watched the water for a moment and realized the blood was flowing from where Eleu was standing. This wasn't a much better situation.
"Oh, you are bleeding, baby," I said to the bird as a I picked him up and put him back on the fixture on the wall. He babbled happily. I couldn't see any particular location that the blood was coming from. I noticed a dried clot on top of his tail; it looked as if the tip of his wing had been dripping blood onto it a while earlier. I picked off the little clot.
I then noticed that the water dripping off him from the soft spray was tinged red. It was dripping off the end of one flight feather. Blood mixed with water. I picked him up and opened his wing. I looked underneath, nothing. I checked his back, nothing. Where was the blood coming from?
When a bird has a new feather come in, the feather has a blood supply until it is fully grown. The blood is in the shaft of the feather and it dries up when it is no longer needed. If the feather is bent or broken while the blood is still in the shaft, it will bleed. A bird can actually bleed to death from a broken blood feather. In a parrot Eleu's size, the shafts of his bigger feathers are the size of a drinking straw. Imagine your blood pouring out of you through that? It wouldn't take long before the bird would die. Most of the time, the bird will clot before he bleeds to death. My fear was that he had broken a blood feather earlier in the day and I just washed the clot out.
I finished showering in about three minutes, shaking the whole time. I put Eleu on the bathroom floor while I got dressed. He played with the rug and babbled gleefully. This did not sound like a bird dying. I looked him over again and still could not find the source of the blood. No feathers were broken and I couldn't find any sort of a wound. I brought him back to his cage and changed his papers. I wanted to be able to see if there was more blood dripping off of him.
Griffin had be having a rough day at work. He works from home and I had learned early on in our relationship to leave him alone when he is in the middle of something. During my whole 'blood crisis' Griffin was in his office having his own crisis. Apparently, computers can be just as much of a help as a hindrance to him as they are to me, so I did not tell him what was going on, just yet. I continued to run around by myself panicking.
I checked on Eleu as he was drip-drying in his cage. I did not see any blood on the fresh papers at the bottom. Maybe it was something old that just needed to be washed off? Eleu was playing with one of his toys, having a good time. He did not seem to be in distress. I started to calm down.
Griffin finally emerged from his office and announced that it was time for pizza. I love pizza night, but I wasn't especially hungry. I told him briefly what was going on with Eleu as we headed out. When we got back, less than an hour later, I headed straight into Eleu's room (our big sun room). Eleu was playing and there was no blood on the paper. Good. He was fine. This was over.
The next morning when I got Eleu up, he was bright and happy. I changed his water and gave him fresh fruit and cheese. When I was putting the bowls back in his cage I noticed that his back was really nappy looking. His feathers were clumped and chewed on. Eleu is not a feather picker - he is a happy, well adjusted bird. It is rare that I ever find a single feather chewed on, and never a whole clump of them.
I took him out of the cage and looked him over while he ran around on the outside of his cage. I lifted his wing and parted the feathers on his back. I didn't see any blood or wounds. I let him run back into his cage and eat his breakfast.
Not long after, I was sitting on the couch in our library when I heard a very weird noise. I thought it was Griffin in the basement moving something around. It sounded like furniture being dragged across the floor. I paused with what I was doing to listen. Suddenly, I realized that it was Eleu squawking in a way I had never heard before. I dashed into his room - heart pounding.
Eleu was standing on his top perch just looking at me. I went over to him and asked him what was wrong. He said, "Apple . . . grape!" I took him out of his cage to inspect him again. He is fairly patient with me and let me dig around through his feathers on his back and under his wing. I found that his chewing had gone all the way into his downy feathers on his back. The feathers were kind of crusty and gross looking. Eleu is not a fat bird, he weighs just over two pounds - the lighter end of the scale for greenwings (they range from two to almost four pounds) and I could see right to the bones under his skin on his back there were so many feathers missing. I still couldn't find a wound.
I found Griffin and told him we need to take Eleu to the vet. I called Eleu's vet and they squeezed us in for an appointment an hour later. We are very lucky to have an avian vet nearby, he is in Chester, just 35 minutes away. I dug around in the basement and found Eleu's carrier. It is just a plastic dog crate that I installed a perch into, but the carrier is huge: Almost three feet long, and 18" high and wide. It needs to be big to accommodate Eleu's long tail - head to tail he is almost three feet long.
When we were ready to go I got Eleu packed into the crate. He is a good bird and got it without much fuss. Griffin carried the crate into the garage and proceeded to awkwardly stuff the carrier into my Mini Cooper. This is a tight fit, very tight, but it fits as long as you have the front seats moved forward to an uncomfortable position. Griffin's car is a Ford Ranger, no back seat, only room for two people, so the Mini was the only choice. We set off for the vet.
Eleu climbed around in his crate and didn't make much noise. He said 'hello' one time and spent most of the trip looking out of the window through his crate. All of the things that could be wrong with him were running through my head. I love my bird and the thought of a wound that won't heal or something even worse made me feel sick. Griffin was driving; I tried to calm down.
The vet took us in right away. He was very nice. I had taken Eleu to him a year and a half ago for a check-up and was happy with how gentle they were with him. I held Eleu on my hand while the doctor checked his back and wing. Eleu was not thrilled, but I was able to keep his beak pointed away from the vet and his tech and he focused on me instead. They then put him into a towel to check his heart and inspect his underside. The only times he has been wrapped in a towel has been at the vet. He doesn't like it and spends every second chewing large holes into the terrycloth. He didn't scream or try to flap and I rubbed his head and talked to him while they worked on him.
The vet couldn't find anything wrong with him. Yes, he has been chewing on his feathers in one spot, but there is no wound there, no tumor, nothing wrong. The doctor started talking about giving Eleu Benadryl to stop him from chewing his feathers. I was still trying to wrap my brain around the idea that there was nothing wrong. The vet explained that sometimes a bird gets hurt or twists a muscle and they start to chew in that area because they can't figure out what is bothering them. The chewed area becomes itchy and that is where the Benadryl comes in.
The vet explained that it may take a while for Eleu to stop chewing altogether and to administer the Benadry twice a day. It comes in a liquid form, so I would have to suck it into a plastic syringe and squirt it into his lower mandible. I used to hand feed Eleu in almost the same way and he loved it, how hard could it be?
Before we left the vet chatted with us about Eleu. He weighed him and checked his eyes and took a dropping sample. The doctor gave us the best compliment, too. He said that Eleu was the nicest macaw he had ever seen. He was well behaved and gentle and that I must be raising him right. The tech agreed. He said that the way I handled him was great and most people who bring in their macaws just hand them over to the tech and say "good luck!". He told me to keep doing whatever I am doing, because I am raising a nice, healthy parrot. It was good to hear.
I started to feel better and we packed up and went home. Back in the sun room, I got the syringe and the Benadry and prepared to give Eleu his first dose. I put him on my knee, held his upper mandible and attempted to squirt the Benadry into his mouth. I got a little bit in his mouth and he managed to turn his head, so the rest went on my pants. Okay, so I needed a firmer grip. I refilled and got it all into his beak. The lower mandible is like a cup, it is easy to pour something into the cup, unfortunately, it is just as easy to pour something out of it. That is exactly what he did. He tiled his he down and most of it dribbled out.
It is some pretty sticky stuff so I wiped up a bit with a tissue and made one more attempt. I think I got a bit more into him. It took about 8 ml to get about 4ml into him. I handed Eleu the tissue and he grabbed it and wiped his beak, chewed on it for a moment and dropped it. That trick is a leftover from the old hand feeding days - parrots don't like to have messy beaks and will clean up if you give them a napkin.
Eleu seemed fine the rest of the day. I tried to watch and see if he was chewing and didn't see him doing it. Maybe the Benadry was working? When it came time for his evening dose, things got a little trickier. During the winter I don't cut Eleu's flight feathers and he gets the chance to fly around a bit. Usually it is just from the love seat to his cage or from my knee to his cage.
When I put him down on my knee to give him the Benadry, he flapped and as I leaned back away from his huge wings he flew off my knee. He flew around the room and landed on my plant rack. He managed to knock one of my plant terrariums onto the floor and it smashed. Eleu - 1, Benadry - 0.
Griffin jumped off the love seat and started cleaning up the mess. I grabbed the bird and made another attempt. I put him back on my knee and tried to hold him and get the medicine in his mouth. He held still for me. As I squirted, he put his tongue on the syringe and it sprayed everywhere but in his mouth. He then flew away. This time he headed for his cage, in the process he managed to knock a glass bowl that Griffin had used for ice cream onto the floor. It smashed. I went over and started picking up the mess. Griffin was still working on the smashed terrarium. Eleu - 2, Benadryl - 0.
When we had both messes cleaned up. I asked Griffin for help. Somehow, the two of us managed to get most of the dose into his mouth. It wasn't easy. The vet said we may have to do this for weeks or months. There had to be a better way. I put Eleu back on his cage and he climbed inside and eyed us for a while. He wasn't trilled at being man-handled that way. I wasn't thrilled about having to do it.
We went to bed shortly after and I laid awake for a long time thinking about how to get the Benadry into Eleu without all the drama. I decided that we would need to experiment with adding it to food. His favorite food, cheese, was not really an option. I couldn't imagine having to wrestle with him at six in the morning before work everyday. Perhaps applesauce would work? We would need to buy some applesauce.
I learned a few things over the last couple of days: the thought of my baby being in pain, injured or sick makes me ill almost instantly and I need to toughen up, some jobs will require an extra pair of hands to avoid having many things smashed in the process, and that my Mini Cooper is not the 'family' car I once thought it could be - I think we will need a bigger vehicle.
PS
I found this article this morning, a little too late, about how to give a bird liquid medicine. It is very, very accurate:
I can't believe that in about three months I will have a baby. I woke up this morning with that thought in my head. It doesn't seem real. After all of the failed pregnancies, I have just gotten used to the idea of being able to successfully keep one alive inside me. Now in three months I have to figure out how to get it out? And what to do with it once it is out?
Griffin and I have lots of plans, theories and intentions, but the actual day-to-day stuff mystifies me. It is not that I will be responsible for another life, that concept I am used to, after all, I have pets. Maybe it is the idea that I, we, will be focusing our lives on this new 'pet'. I am assuming everything that I am now doing with either change, minimize or disappear altogether, but to actually have it happen is another thing.
The last two days were a bit freaky. On Friday, our second snow day in a row, I got ready to take a shower. I got Eleu, our green wing macaw (pronounced Eee-loo), out of his cage and let him stand on one of the fixtures in the shower. Yes, I shower with my parrot. (It's like showering with a friend, but never having to worry about dropping the soap.) The water was running and I got in.
Eleu was chatting and fluffing as he usually does in the shower. He likes to ruffle his feathers in the steam. I washed my face as he continued babbling away. He makes noises in the shower that he doesn't make anywhere else. We have had Eleu almost seven years now; raised him since he was 8 weeks old, I hand fed him for the first five months, and I am very attached to him. I put Eleu on the floor of the shower so he could run around.
When Eleu is on the shower floor, I don't do anything else. I focus all of my attention on him, I wouldn't want to be washing my hair and accidentally step on him. Eleu crouched on the floor as he usually does and I bounced the water off my hands to give him a soft spray. The light in the bathroom can be a little weird and can play tricks on your eyes, so as I was looking down at the water flowing into the drain, thought it was curious that it looked sort of pink. At first I thought it was just the light, but as I looked more closely I could see that it was blood mixed in the water.
My first thought was that I was bleeding. My heart began to pound. I have not had any bleeding with this pregnancy, but bled many times with the last ones and sometimes in the shower. I watched the water for a moment and realized the blood was flowing from where Eleu was standing. This wasn't a much better situation.
"Oh, you are bleeding, baby," I said to the bird as a I picked him up and put him back on the fixture on the wall. He babbled happily. I couldn't see any particular location that the blood was coming from. I noticed a dried clot on top of his tail; it looked as if the tip of his wing had been dripping blood onto it a while earlier. I picked off the little clot.
I then noticed that the water dripping off him from the soft spray was tinged red. It was dripping off the end of one flight feather. Blood mixed with water. I picked him up and opened his wing. I looked underneath, nothing. I checked his back, nothing. Where was the blood coming from?
When a bird has a new feather come in, the feather has a blood supply until it is fully grown. The blood is in the shaft of the feather and it dries up when it is no longer needed. If the feather is bent or broken while the blood is still in the shaft, it will bleed. A bird can actually bleed to death from a broken blood feather. In a parrot Eleu's size, the shafts of his bigger feathers are the size of a drinking straw. Imagine your blood pouring out of you through that? It wouldn't take long before the bird would die. Most of the time, the bird will clot before he bleeds to death. My fear was that he had broken a blood feather earlier in the day and I just washed the clot out.
I finished showering in about three minutes, shaking the whole time. I put Eleu on the bathroom floor while I got dressed. He played with the rug and babbled gleefully. This did not sound like a bird dying. I looked him over again and still could not find the source of the blood. No feathers were broken and I couldn't find any sort of a wound. I brought him back to his cage and changed his papers. I wanted to be able to see if there was more blood dripping off of him.
Griffin had be having a rough day at work. He works from home and I had learned early on in our relationship to leave him alone when he is in the middle of something. During my whole 'blood crisis' Griffin was in his office having his own crisis. Apparently, computers can be just as much of a help as a hindrance to him as they are to me, so I did not tell him what was going on, just yet. I continued to run around by myself panicking.
I checked on Eleu as he was drip-drying in his cage. I did not see any blood on the fresh papers at the bottom. Maybe it was something old that just needed to be washed off? Eleu was playing with one of his toys, having a good time. He did not seem to be in distress. I started to calm down.
Griffin finally emerged from his office and announced that it was time for pizza. I love pizza night, but I wasn't especially hungry. I told him briefly what was going on with Eleu as we headed out. When we got back, less than an hour later, I headed straight into Eleu's room (our big sun room). Eleu was playing and there was no blood on the paper. Good. He was fine. This was over.
The next morning when I got Eleu up, he was bright and happy. I changed his water and gave him fresh fruit and cheese. When I was putting the bowls back in his cage I noticed that his back was really nappy looking. His feathers were clumped and chewed on. Eleu is not a feather picker - he is a happy, well adjusted bird. It is rare that I ever find a single feather chewed on, and never a whole clump of them.
I took him out of the cage and looked him over while he ran around on the outside of his cage. I lifted his wing and parted the feathers on his back. I didn't see any blood or wounds. I let him run back into his cage and eat his breakfast.
Not long after, I was sitting on the couch in our library when I heard a very weird noise. I thought it was Griffin in the basement moving something around. It sounded like furniture being dragged across the floor. I paused with what I was doing to listen. Suddenly, I realized that it was Eleu squawking in a way I had never heard before. I dashed into his room - heart pounding.
Eleu was standing on his top perch just looking at me. I went over to him and asked him what was wrong. He said, "Apple . . . grape!" I took him out of his cage to inspect him again. He is fairly patient with me and let me dig around through his feathers on his back and under his wing. I found that his chewing had gone all the way into his downy feathers on his back. The feathers were kind of crusty and gross looking. Eleu is not a fat bird, he weighs just over two pounds - the lighter end of the scale for greenwings (they range from two to almost four pounds) and I could see right to the bones under his skin on his back there were so many feathers missing. I still couldn't find a wound.
I found Griffin and told him we need to take Eleu to the vet. I called Eleu's vet and they squeezed us in for an appointment an hour later. We are very lucky to have an avian vet nearby, he is in Chester, just 35 minutes away. I dug around in the basement and found Eleu's carrier. It is just a plastic dog crate that I installed a perch into, but the carrier is huge: Almost three feet long, and 18" high and wide. It needs to be big to accommodate Eleu's long tail - head to tail he is almost three feet long.
When we were ready to go I got Eleu packed into the crate. He is a good bird and got it without much fuss. Griffin carried the crate into the garage and proceeded to awkwardly stuff the carrier into my Mini Cooper. This is a tight fit, very tight, but it fits as long as you have the front seats moved forward to an uncomfortable position. Griffin's car is a Ford Ranger, no back seat, only room for two people, so the Mini was the only choice. We set off for the vet.
Eleu climbed around in his crate and didn't make much noise. He said 'hello' one time and spent most of the trip looking out of the window through his crate. All of the things that could be wrong with him were running through my head. I love my bird and the thought of a wound that won't heal or something even worse made me feel sick. Griffin was driving; I tried to calm down.
The vet took us in right away. He was very nice. I had taken Eleu to him a year and a half ago for a check-up and was happy with how gentle they were with him. I held Eleu on my hand while the doctor checked his back and wing. Eleu was not thrilled, but I was able to keep his beak pointed away from the vet and his tech and he focused on me instead. They then put him into a towel to check his heart and inspect his underside. The only times he has been wrapped in a towel has been at the vet. He doesn't like it and spends every second chewing large holes into the terrycloth. He didn't scream or try to flap and I rubbed his head and talked to him while they worked on him.
The vet couldn't find anything wrong with him. Yes, he has been chewing on his feathers in one spot, but there is no wound there, no tumor, nothing wrong. The doctor started talking about giving Eleu Benadryl to stop him from chewing his feathers. I was still trying to wrap my brain around the idea that there was nothing wrong. The vet explained that sometimes a bird gets hurt or twists a muscle and they start to chew in that area because they can't figure out what is bothering them. The chewed area becomes itchy and that is where the Benadryl comes in.
The vet explained that it may take a while for Eleu to stop chewing altogether and to administer the Benadry twice a day. It comes in a liquid form, so I would have to suck it into a plastic syringe and squirt it into his lower mandible. I used to hand feed Eleu in almost the same way and he loved it, how hard could it be?
Before we left the vet chatted with us about Eleu. He weighed him and checked his eyes and took a dropping sample. The doctor gave us the best compliment, too. He said that Eleu was the nicest macaw he had ever seen. He was well behaved and gentle and that I must be raising him right. The tech agreed. He said that the way I handled him was great and most people who bring in their macaws just hand them over to the tech and say "good luck!". He told me to keep doing whatever I am doing, because I am raising a nice, healthy parrot. It was good to hear.
I started to feel better and we packed up and went home. Back in the sun room, I got the syringe and the Benadry and prepared to give Eleu his first dose. I put him on my knee, held his upper mandible and attempted to squirt the Benadry into his mouth. I got a little bit in his mouth and he managed to turn his head, so the rest went on my pants. Okay, so I needed a firmer grip. I refilled and got it all into his beak. The lower mandible is like a cup, it is easy to pour something into the cup, unfortunately, it is just as easy to pour something out of it. That is exactly what he did. He tiled his he down and most of it dribbled out.
It is some pretty sticky stuff so I wiped up a bit with a tissue and made one more attempt. I think I got a bit more into him. It took about 8 ml to get about 4ml into him. I handed Eleu the tissue and he grabbed it and wiped his beak, chewed on it for a moment and dropped it. That trick is a leftover from the old hand feeding days - parrots don't like to have messy beaks and will clean up if you give them a napkin.
Eleu seemed fine the rest of the day. I tried to watch and see if he was chewing and didn't see him doing it. Maybe the Benadry was working? When it came time for his evening dose, things got a little trickier. During the winter I don't cut Eleu's flight feathers and he gets the chance to fly around a bit. Usually it is just from the love seat to his cage or from my knee to his cage.
When I put him down on my knee to give him the Benadry, he flapped and as I leaned back away from his huge wings he flew off my knee. He flew around the room and landed on my plant rack. He managed to knock one of my plant terrariums onto the floor and it smashed. Eleu - 1, Benadry - 0.
Griffin jumped off the love seat and started cleaning up the mess. I grabbed the bird and made another attempt. I put him back on my knee and tried to hold him and get the medicine in his mouth. He held still for me. As I squirted, he put his tongue on the syringe and it sprayed everywhere but in his mouth. He then flew away. This time he headed for his cage, in the process he managed to knock a glass bowl that Griffin had used for ice cream onto the floor. It smashed. I went over and started picking up the mess. Griffin was still working on the smashed terrarium. Eleu - 2, Benadryl - 0.
When we had both messes cleaned up. I asked Griffin for help. Somehow, the two of us managed to get most of the dose into his mouth. It wasn't easy. The vet said we may have to do this for weeks or months. There had to be a better way. I put Eleu back on his cage and he climbed inside and eyed us for a while. He wasn't trilled at being man-handled that way. I wasn't thrilled about having to do it.
We went to bed shortly after and I laid awake for a long time thinking about how to get the Benadry into Eleu without all the drama. I decided that we would need to experiment with adding it to food. His favorite food, cheese, was not really an option. I couldn't imagine having to wrestle with him at six in the morning before work everyday. Perhaps applesauce would work? We would need to buy some applesauce.
I learned a few things over the last couple of days: the thought of my baby being in pain, injured or sick makes me ill almost instantly and I need to toughen up, some jobs will require an extra pair of hands to avoid having many things smashed in the process, and that my Mini Cooper is not the 'family' car I once thought it could be - I think we will need a bigger vehicle.
PS
I found this article this morning, a little too late, about how to give a bird liquid medicine. It is very, very accurate:
How To Give Your Bird Oral Antibiotics
Friday, February 26, 2010
As Time Goes By
26 Weeks.
Time is dragging by now - at least in terms of the pregnancy. I find myself looking up what is happening during week ____ less and less. Most of the monumental changes and checkpoints are past. Piper just keeps getting bigger, stronger and fatter. Even her kicking is less of a thrill and now more of a means of communication between the two of us. She is not tapping out Morse code, but she does react to things in our environment in interesting ways. She gets very still at my in-laws' house; perhaps she is learning the voices of her grandparents, in the car going home from work she jumps and kicks and does back flips off my bladder and in the evenings she pokes and squirms as we watch a DVD. I think I may miss having her inside me after she is born.
I had advanced into reading about the birthing process and I feel as prepared as I am going to get. I am sure there are no written words that will be able to fully portray the experience. I understand the mechanics of what will happen, the possible risks and dangers and the many variables in birthing. As far as the emotional experience, I don't think anything will prepare me for that.
My reading has now shifted into child-rearing. I started reading the baby led weening book. The thoughts, theories and conclusions for the first six months are simply 'no food other than breast milk', so, really the practices in this book won't be put into action until next December. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around that. Next December.
I also have been watching videos on PBS and Netflix. The one that disturbed me the most was Frontline's "The Medicated Child". It was a full length video on using and over-using medication on children to 'fix' their mental problems. A lot of what I was seeing just looked like kids acting like kids - bored kids, but normal kids nonetheless. Some of the children in the show were a little off but the medication the doctors put them on made them downright bizarre. One of the things that really bothered me was that the only thing that was being addressed was the medication: Was it too much? Was it the wrong kind? Should this one be only for adults? Do these two react poorly together?
The entire time I watched the show I kept noticing the food these kids were eating, the fact that they were so young and spent all their time in front of a computer or TV. Their toys were video games or plastic hoo-hoos, surely made in China, that the littlest ones were gnawing on. Several of the parents had two or three kids running around and they couldn't focus their attention or gather their brood together. No one addressed diet, nutrition, exercise, metal stimulation or parental interaction. One woman went back to her doctor with the intention of getting her child off one or two of the many meds he was on and by the time she was leaving his office, he had upped the dosage instead. She just sat there and nodded. I was shocked.
I also watched a video, A Life Without Pain, on three children who were born with the rare disorder that prevented them from being able to feel pain. I had heard of this before, but never gave it too much thought. It was amazing to consider all of the potential problems that would ensue when your child is born without feeling pain. The three children were in different parts of the world, but had the same problem; the difference was the approach to dealing with the issues. Of course, the American family reacted in a way that was extreme and, I think, in the end detrimental to their daughter. Of course, who am I to talk, never having been in this situation?
The more I watch, the more afraid I become for little Piper. I have no idea what her future health may hold, I guess you can only do what's right at the moment and wait and see. In the mean time, I will continue to read, watch videos and try to do my best to prepare for the future. I guess the only thing I can do right now to help ensure Piper is healthy is to eat right - so I am off to have a nutritious breakfast.
Time is dragging by now - at least in terms of the pregnancy. I find myself looking up what is happening during week ____ less and less. Most of the monumental changes and checkpoints are past. Piper just keeps getting bigger, stronger and fatter. Even her kicking is less of a thrill and now more of a means of communication between the two of us. She is not tapping out Morse code, but she does react to things in our environment in interesting ways. She gets very still at my in-laws' house; perhaps she is learning the voices of her grandparents, in the car going home from work she jumps and kicks and does back flips off my bladder and in the evenings she pokes and squirms as we watch a DVD. I think I may miss having her inside me after she is born.
I had advanced into reading about the birthing process and I feel as prepared as I am going to get. I am sure there are no written words that will be able to fully portray the experience. I understand the mechanics of what will happen, the possible risks and dangers and the many variables in birthing. As far as the emotional experience, I don't think anything will prepare me for that.
My reading has now shifted into child-rearing. I started reading the baby led weening book. The thoughts, theories and conclusions for the first six months are simply 'no food other than breast milk', so, really the practices in this book won't be put into action until next December. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around that. Next December.
I also have been watching videos on PBS and Netflix. The one that disturbed me the most was Frontline's "The Medicated Child". It was a full length video on using and over-using medication on children to 'fix' their mental problems. A lot of what I was seeing just looked like kids acting like kids - bored kids, but normal kids nonetheless. Some of the children in the show were a little off but the medication the doctors put them on made them downright bizarre. One of the things that really bothered me was that the only thing that was being addressed was the medication: Was it too much? Was it the wrong kind? Should this one be only for adults? Do these two react poorly together?
The entire time I watched the show I kept noticing the food these kids were eating, the fact that they were so young and spent all their time in front of a computer or TV. Their toys were video games or plastic hoo-hoos, surely made in China, that the littlest ones were gnawing on. Several of the parents had two or three kids running around and they couldn't focus their attention or gather their brood together. No one addressed diet, nutrition, exercise, metal stimulation or parental interaction. One woman went back to her doctor with the intention of getting her child off one or two of the many meds he was on and by the time she was leaving his office, he had upped the dosage instead. She just sat there and nodded. I was shocked.
I also watched a video, A Life Without Pain, on three children who were born with the rare disorder that prevented them from being able to feel pain. I had heard of this before, but never gave it too much thought. It was amazing to consider all of the potential problems that would ensue when your child is born without feeling pain. The three children were in different parts of the world, but had the same problem; the difference was the approach to dealing with the issues. Of course, the American family reacted in a way that was extreme and, I think, in the end detrimental to their daughter. Of course, who am I to talk, never having been in this situation?
The more I watch, the more afraid I become for little Piper. I have no idea what her future health may hold, I guess you can only do what's right at the moment and wait and see. In the mean time, I will continue to read, watch videos and try to do my best to prepare for the future. I guess the only thing I can do right now to help ensure Piper is healthy is to eat right - so I am off to have a nutritious breakfast.
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