Piper Blue - 7 Months
Sleeping is one of the things all babies do naturally. They don't need to be taught, helped or convinced to sleep, or so I thought. I remember when Piper was just a newborn and she slept more of the time than not. We would be so excited when she was awake and had her eyes open. It seemed like a rare and wonderful occasion when she would look around and at us directly. It was thrilling.
The time Piper spent with her eyes closed she was either sleeping, just waking up or about to drift back off. She took long naps: three or fours hours at a clip. Everyone eagerly awaited her short windows of consciousness except, of course, at night.
When Piper was less than a month old I was happy when she would sleep three hours at night, delighted if she slept four and frightened if she slept five. We used a Moses basket next to our bed as her cradle for the first three months of her life. At first she looked so tiny in it. It didn't seem cozy at all, but I supposed, it was cozier than a big, open crib. Piper slept happily in her basket, once we could get her to sleep that is.
During the day Piper refused to be put down in the basket and so she napped on whichever warm body was holding her. It was usually me, but sometimes Griffin and, especially in the beginning, often Jan or Claire. She could curl up on Griffin or Jan's chest in a position we dubbed "The Tree Frog". If you have ever seen a tree frog sleeping while stuck to the glass of a terrarium, I don't need to describe Piper's sleeping pose.
During the night, Piper would wake up and nurse and often go right back to sleep, but on occasion she would wake up and start hollering and almost nothing we could do would make her stop. We resorted to the old stand-by for generations of new parents - the car seat. Looking back, I don't know if it was truly the car seat that got Piper back to sleep during those middle-of-the-night desperation drives, or if it was the fact that we bundled her up a bit and didn't have the air conditioning blasting, and therefore, she was finally warm again. The world may never know.
At around two months Piper began sleeping through the night. It was, at first, frightening and after a few nights miraculous. The first morning I woke up and realized that Piper had not awakened at all during the night I quickly looked into her basket, my heart filled with dread. Little Piper was fast asleep cozy in her basket. By this time we had realized babies need to wear more clothes than a cloth diaper and a blanket, so Piper was finally warm enough to sleep for longer periods. I began bragging about her too soon.
The night before I was returning to work, Piper woke up several times. I had thought that she somehow knew that things were going to drastically change for her. Perhaps she did and I was left longing for those summer nights when we all slept soundly.
The change in schedule, not only to feeding, but to sleeping was hard on Piper. She no longer slept through the night and began waking up from one to five times during the night. As the weeks dragged on, I began dragging. I was suffering severely from sleep deprivation. My body became twitchy as did my eyes, I couldn't think straight and I found myself becoming drowsy at the wheel of my car, both coming and going to work. I snapped at students and snapped at Griffin. I was like a starving dog and sleep was the bone I was taunted with, but could never get a hold of.
The times that I did get to sleep at night were not peaceful either. I was so tired that I was cold most of the time and would go to bed with two blankets; actually one was a goose down comforter and the other was a quilted synthetic comforter. I would wake up during the night in a puddle of sweat. Sometimes, when Piper would sleep for several hours, I would wake up in a puddle of sweat and breast milk as my breasts would become full and start to leak. Sleeping with a nursing bra on made me develop clogged milk ducts, so I gave up on that. I would wake up, put a folded fresh sheet on top of my soggy side of the bed and go back to sleep.
Many times when I was nursing her at night in bed I would fall asleep for a moment and twitch awake. When Piper was ready to go back to her bed I would carefully carry her back and try to get her down without waking her. Sometimes I was so exhausted that I was half asleep while I did this. I would go back to bed and fall asleep almost instantly. On occasion during the worst nights, I would half wake up and begin to look for Piper fearing that I had fallen asleep while nursing her. There were even times that I would wake with a start and sit up and look all over for her in a panic. Then I would look over at my darling baby sound asleep where she was supposed to be and I felt a huge rush of relief. As luck would have it, Piper would often wake up shortly after this and I would spring out of bed like a crazy person. It's amazing how you can go from peacefully asleep to wide awake and standing up in two seconds!
Slowly, but slowly Piper adjusted to the new routine. She began sleeping longer at night until one week she slept through the night every night for a week. The next week Jan went in for his knee surgery and our schedules changed again. That was the last time Piper has slept through.
These days I am not the only one suffering from lack of sleep. Many early mornings when Piper did not want to be returned to her basket, or later, her swing, Griffin would sit up and hold her in bed. As she became too big for the tree frog pose, they found another way for her to sleep: more or less stretched out across his chest - belly to belly. This position makes Griffin snore; this position makes Piper snore. I don't sleep well if at all when they are both snoring, but I don't dare wake either of them. At least someone gets to sleep.
When Piper became too big for the Moses basket, and while she still refused to sleep in her crib on her back, we started using a baby swing as her bed. She slept quite well in it during the night although when I had the swing swinging the wind chill factor would make her face feel like a Popsicle. And when she would wake up at night where did she want to put that Popsicle face? Right on my warm and sensitive breast. Hello!!
When Piper turned six months she had out grown her swing. Her feet hung off the edge making her look like a giant. Since the threat of SIDS was mostly passed, we decided to try to get her to sleep in her crib on her belly. We had previously been trying to get her to sleep in the crib on her back which only resulted in her crying hysterically and me becoming a basket case listening to her. We didn't let her cry for more than a couple of minutes because it was clear she was not going to sleep this way. I do not believe in letting a baby 'cry it out' and so we didn't force the crib issue.
Now that she was far too big for the swing, the crib was the only option. From the first time we put her down on her belly we could see the difference. Even if she did wake a bit or even cry, within a minute or two she would fall fast asleep. She now naps in her crib in her bedroom during the day at home or at Grandma and Grandpa's house when I am working. She sleeps at night in the crib in our bedroom. There is no point right now in trying to make her sleep in her own bedroom since she is still waking up two to five times a night. I won't just let her cry herself back to sleep, so it is just easier having her close to me. And Zombie Mommy carries on for another day!
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