Dare I Say It?

29 Weeks.

I am almost afraid to say it out loud, but it seems that my pain in the butt is starting to go away! It was just wonderful to have so many folks concerned about me and giving me loads of ideas on what to do to help relieve me of my pain. I am so grateful to be lucky enough to be surrounded by such caring people!

I am now able to walk without wincing and sucking in my breath. The searing pain has been reduced to an annoying sharp poke. The strength in my left leg is returning allowing me to walk up and down stairs at an almost normal speed. I am finding that there are moments when I even forget that I have any pain at all! For many days it was all I could focus on.

Here are some things that seemed to set me on the road to recovery:

Heat. I continued to use my heating pad on my leg and lower back everyday. On Monday, I started bringing it to school and using it there too. I switched it on for 10 or 15 minutes and tried to relax my leg. The heat helped loosen my muscles that had become very tense from anticipating pain.

Sitting. One of the hardest things for me is to stay in my seat. At work I am usually up and about helping students and running around the school doing things. I made a conscious effort to rest and sit more. Students came up to me for help whenever possible and when it wasn't possible, I sat in my wheely chair and rolled around to them. I only used my right leg to push myself around and avoided straining my left leg. I also did a lot of sitting at home. Griffin has been just wonderful. He hops up when I need something and tells me to stay put. He has done my laundry and cooked several meals. I really am lucky to have such a kind and generous husband.

Pillows. A pillow in the proper place seems to make a huge difference with my positioning. I took the advice of a couple of people and am sleeping with my body pillow between my legs all the way down to my ankles. I am focusing on keeping my legs aligned and not crossed over each other. Before I started doing this, I think I was sleeping with one leg tossed over the other and it was twisting my spine and hips. This is probably why my sciatica hurt so much when I would first get up in the morning.

Shoes. I switched to only wearing my Earth Shoes. I love my Birkenstocks, but they were doing nothing for me with this pain. My Earth Shoes have a negative heel that pushes your posture up. I always feel a little taller wearing these and they also exercise your calves at the same time. It also helps that they are not clogs so they stay on my feet without effort.

Back brace. When I first got my Mommy to Be back support, I was skeptical that it would do anything for me. It took me a few days of experimenting with the position to figure out what would help, but now that I have, it has been a great addition to my back repair regimen. I have to wear it really low below my ever-bulging belly. It lifts my belly up and takes the pressure off my lower back a bit. Piper seems to hate it. She kicks at it every time I sit down wearing it, so I guess it must be squashing her happy home a bit. She certainly seems to be aware that I have it on.

Distractions. DVDs, PBS online, books, emails, buttons, felting and ice cream have all been great distractions for me. The more I focused on the pain the worse I felt. My lowest moment was over the weekend when I decided to take a hot bath and soak for a while. Well, the water never really was hot enough and it was a major struggle to just get into the tub. Once I was sitting there every little movement triggered the pain and I was then trapped. Out of nowhere, I burst into tears. It was just a moment later that Griffin came into the bathroom to tell me he was going to leave to pick up his brother David from work. He saw me crying and rushed in and saved me. After he got me out of the tub, fetched my clothes and helped me get dressed, I became a little more composed and parked on the love seat with my heating pad for the rest of the day. I was forced into relaxing and it was a very good thing for me.

Feeling the love. It was also really reassuring to hear from so many people that they have gone through this too. Sometimes I start to feel a little crazy and alone with this pregnancy. I spend a lot of time inside my head thinking about everything. I was reassured by the outpouring of kindness from so many people. Thank you.

What Else Can I Do?

I woke up this morning and headed to the bathroom as usual. It was only 6:30 so I went back to be to attempt to sleep in on this rainy Sunday morning. It occurred to me as I was lying there that I did not feel Piper kicking around. She is usually awake before I am in the morning. I began to focus on my belly to feel her move.

I think those few fleeting months of feeling great, being happy and looking forward to the very near future are over. Since this horrid sciatica has taken hold, so have my worries and fears about the pregnancy.

I have been wearing a back brace for three days and I am concerned that it is squashing my little grub. Everything I have read says that is impossible. She is well protected by many layers of me and is floating in her protective amniotic fluid, but every time I have the belt on I can feel her kicking against it. I am concerned that it is cramping her comfy fishbowl home.

When Piper didn't give me her usual early morning wake-up call, I became concerned to the point of actually worrying. I laid on my left side and waited. After a bit of time I felt her squirm around and then kick. It was rather a weak kick and that concerned me. She rolled around and kicked a few more. None with the strength to my satisfaction. I might have fallen back asleep after that.

When we got up a while later, I limped around the house and got my back brace on. I tried to fit it as low on my waist as I could. I don't know if the brace is really helping my back, but I will keep using it for a while. I had some cereal and blueberries and settled down on the couch to do some reading. I feel fine when I am sitting, especially with my feet up, it's when I get up to do anything that the pain strikes me now.

On weekends, I normally drink a cup of coffee before I eat breakfast, but with Piper seeming so sluggish I decided to eat first. After eating I could feel her bumping around as usual and even now as I sit here typing this, she is kicking hard enough to make me jump. So, she is back to her usual self. I guess there was actually nothing wrong this morning and she was just 'sleeping in' with the rest of us. Even the cats did not start crying until 7:30. Yet, I could not seem to help myself and begin to worry at the slightest sign of trouble.

I think this pain is driving me mad. If I sit on the couch with a heating pad under the painful cheek for 15 minutes or so, I feel fine for a while and I can actually walk normally, but the pain soon comes back. I would think that I would feel best in the morning after resting all night, but I don't. I feel best at night when we are sitting on the couch watching a DVD and I have my trusty heating pad on. I think I am going to need to take this to school with me tomorrow or else I will not survive.

Our plan for today was to clear out the stuff in the room that will become the nursery. There isn't that much in there now. It was one of those rooms that just became storage and a place to put things that had no place. There were two bookshelves filled with some vintage glass and pottery and some of my stuff too. A few pieces of furniture are going to be removed with the help of Griffin's younger brother David.

We even went to Home Depot yesterday and bought paint for the room. We bought their 'green' line of paint "Freshaire" which is a very eco-friendly paint and contains no VOC's and is GreenGuard certified, also. We picked out a warm yellow for the walls and a darker golden color for the trim. Since painting the old house, we have really come to love painting the trim with non-white, contrasting colors. Anyhow.

Griffin and I discussed clearing out the shelves and where the stuff would go. Some of my stuff would get put into the basement and some would go into the big sun room. We were sitting in the library when Griffin announced he was ready to start moving stuff and I followed him. As I got up, the sciatica stabbed me in the ass, but I tried to ignore it and keep moving. Sometimes it just works itself out. Not this time.

I dragged myself into the sun room as Griffin carried the stuff in a few at a time and piled them on the coffee table. I was supposed the take them from the coffee table and put them onto the beautiful shelves my father-in-law build for me. Every bend, every step, every breath was excruciating. I sucked in my breath every time it caught me.

Griffin saw what was going on and brought a wheely chair for me to sit on to roll back and fourth. I wheeled, but it wasn't helping. I got a blanket, folded it up, kneeled on it and tried sliding back and fourth. I felt fine as long as I didn't move. So this didn't help either. I stood up and tried to walk carefully back and fourth. It was my best option, but it took forever. It hurt so back that when I saw Griffin watching me I started to laugh. I know how ridiculous I look. If I don't laugh, I may cry.

I am not used to having any pain in my body. I rarely even get sick. When I have a cold, I ignore it and keep on working and it goes away in a couple of days. This pain in not going away and I cannot ignore it. I will try to focus on using the heat for 15 minutes every hour for the next few days until we see Judy, our midwife on Thursday. I am hoping she will have some solution for me. If she doesn't, I will have to look for other options like physical therapy. I will NOT go to a chiropractor. Don't even get me started on that quackery. I would sooner cram Chinese herbs up my ass for a month than have some charlatan doctor 'cracking' my back. But I digress.

This may be a very long week for me and I will certainly be walking around with one very warm butt cheek, but hopefully, I will be in less pain. I can't go on in pain like this and continue working. Moving around at a snail's pace is insane when dealing with a room full of teenagers, but what else can I do?