36 Weeks, 2 days
Today is Mother's Day. I woke up at six and drowsed in bed for a while. The house was very still. Griffin is not home and the dog and cats were not pestering me to get up. So I laid there. Piper had the hiccups and my belly bounced every 10 seconds with each one. I felt the rolling slide of her whole body moving and the little flicker of hands. I have gotten very used to feeling all of this; it will be strange when she is no longer inside me and I am all alone with myself again.
I have been battling swollen ankles and feet for the last few weeks. Work was especially stressful as I tried to get everything wrapped up before I started my maternity leave. There is just not enough time in the day for it all. If I didn't actually have to teach every period, I would have had time to wrap up all of the other stuff. I had begun new projects two weeks ago that required my help, input and attention. Poor planning on my part. I should have just rolled out the markers and told them all to draw what they want to do for summer vacation. If only.
The flubbiness of my feet has not been my only concern; my belly has gotten so large that I have trouble doing things I normally don't have to think about to do: such as put on socks or feed the cats. I find myself holding my breath as I half bend over, half squat to get to the floor. I think I have forgotten what it is like to just go about your business without noticing that you are doing anything. I know I can't crush Piper by bending over, but she sure puts up a fight when I do.
My last progesterone shot was this past Thursday. The progesterone will stay in my system for a week to 10 days. Commonly, women having these injections go into labor sometime shortly after that seven to ten day period. So things could be happening very soon.
I am not nervous about labor or giving birth. The thought of the pain does not frighten me and I don't think I will be begging to go to the hospital for drugs. For me, the worst kind of pain is the type that is inflicted by someone else and I have had a lot of that over the past three years. My body will not create more pain than I can handle, but intervention by someone else might.
Its strange that I have actually become calmer and more relaxed about having our home birth as it gets closer. Griffin and I have been going to birthing classes and many of the other women seem to be terrified of the prospect of pain. There is only one other couple that is planning on having a home birth and we haven't actually spoken to them. Some of the women in the class are actually planning on having epidurals during labor, I wonder why they are taking a natural child birthing class.
We are planning on having a water birth as well as laboring in the birthing tub. Judy, our midwife asked us if we want to put the birthing tub out on our deck. At first it struck me as strange to give birth outside, but I am sure it strikes people as strange that we want to give birth at home. I have mixed feelings about being outside: it might rain, I might get cold, it might be too sunny and I'd get sunburned, what if my labor goes into the night and there are bats flying around us? (Actually, that would be pretty neat.) I don't care about privacy and the neighbors 'seeing' anything and that was the main concern that Judy had. Who cares about the neighbors? What about the weather?
Really, my biggest concern is what to do once Piper is here. Getting her out won't be nearly as difficult as knowing what to do with her once she has. I keep trying to picture myself hold a little, tiny baby wrapped in one of those swaddling outfits. Wrapped so tightly she barely wriggles around, I peek in and see her big eyes, her cute ears and her long whiskers. Meow. It always turns into my cat. It is so hard to picture myself holding a baby, a human baby, my baby.
Well, pictured or not, she will be here soon. I have lots of things to do yet and perhaps I should get started. I would make a list, but that would just be killing more time before I actually do something. Maybe I will look at those baby clothes one more time.
Meow.
Showing posts with label waterbirth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label waterbirth. Show all posts
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Making the Move
22 Weeks, 1 day.
We met with the certified nurse midwife yesterday. Our appointment was at her home office and of course we arrived early. She didn't mind, invited us in and we sat down in a cozy room. She asked a couple of basic questions: where we lived, my due date, what week I was in and confirmed that we were looking to have a home birth.
Then she asked us if we had questions for her. I didn't know where to start, so she did. She practiced originally as a labor and delivery nurse starting in 1986 and then began doing home birthing in 1997 after going to midwifery school and doing an internship. She has delivered over 700 babies and assisted with another 1100 births.
She told us about her track record for home births. With her first time mothers have a 10% transfer rate to a hospital. That is pretty good, I had read it was 25% on average. She has never needed to do a transfusion for a mother although she could. She told us about her experience with different situations and what she would do. Her level of knowledge and confidence really made me feel comfortable. An OB would never do this - they wouldn't be expected to defend themselves and prove that they would be a good doctor for you.
She asked us to tell her about the pregnancy and what we were looking for in a birthing experience and why. I told her about the miscarriages and who we were currently seeing for care. I told her that I wanted to be home with my family included, if they want to be. I said I would like to invite my mother and father-in-laws and my brother and sister-in-law. (I think my brother would jump out of his skin, but I would invite him anyhow.) I said I wanted it to be fully natural and not be rushed. I didn't want things to spin out of control, which I think happens in hospitals far too often. She nodded a lot and asked questions that ensured me that she was listening to what I was saying and not just planning on what to say next.
She told us that she could do all of the prenatal care from here on out and we wouldn't need to continue going to the OB or perinatal group. She said she is affiliated with an OB in Morristown if we do run into any problems before 37 weeks. I told her that we had one more appointment in 5 weeks at the perinatal group for an ultrasound to check for growth. She said it wasn't necessary for us to continue to have ultrasounds and that the development of the baby could be palpated at this point. I wondered why my OB never did that.
I don't really have a problem leaving the OBs, frankly, I am glad to leave them. There are 3 doctors there and although they are very nice, they don't know me from Adam. In fact, they have gotten our due date wrong several times and keep asking the same questions about the previous miscarriages over and over even though this is all in my chart. The only thing they do every 4 weeks is check my blood pressure, weight, check my urine for protein and sugar, check the fetal heartbeat and then send me on my way. It always seems like a waste of time for us.
On the other hand, the perinatal group does all of the ultrasounds. It's wonderful getting to see Piper moving around inside me. They usually print out a few pictures for us to take home. Since we have now 'graduated' and don't need to be seen every two weeks, it seems like this is just going to be a novelty to keep seeing her through ultrasounds.
Now we have to decide whether we will go to the scheduled ultrasound appointment. The midwife said we didn't need to, but she didn't say we couldn't go. It's up to us. Griffin and I talked about it afterwords. He said he would be fine going one more time. The real question is whether he would be fine not going one more time. That is the question.
I have read over and over that ultrasounds in the third trimester are not necessary unless there is a problem, but we like the ultrasounds. It's so cool to see her and not just feel her inside me. I believe the next ultrasound would be our last one anyhow, so how could one more hurt? Do we care that it is unnecessary? Maybe this is why health insurance costs so much. Well, we have time to think about it.
We talked for almost an hour with the midwife. She asked questions, we asked questions and I felt like I knew more about her in one hour than I know about the OB I have been seeing for the last 2 years. It's a much more personal experience.
We told her that we were considering a waterbirth and she said she does a lot of them. She explained what we would need to get and how the logistics would work. It seemed to be pretty much as I had read.
I asked her again if she thought we were good candidates for home birth and she agreed. She said it's not for everyone and she can usually tell after speaking with a couple whether it is a good option for them. She said she would not take on anyone for home birthing that she thought could not handle it or if it would be too risky for mother and child.
Finally she told us that we would need to get a copy of my records from my OB's office. I thought about how fat my chart now was: filled with information about failed pregnancies. It also has all of the information from the NJ Perinatal Association. So much stuff that we want to put behind us. My only fear is telling the OB that we don't want to use them anymore. I don't know why that scares me. When we were there last time and I asked about a midwife, I could almost see the hackles going up on the doctor. They can't say 'no', can they?
We left the appointment feeling really positive about the whole thing. I asked Griffin if I sounded like a nut talking to her and he reassured me that I didn't. My reasons for wanting a home birth are equal parts emotional and logical. The thought of going to the hospital to deliver Piper makes my skin crawl. The last 4 times I was in a hospital was to have another failed pregnancy removed. I don't associate hospitals with anything good. Hospitals are where you go if you are sick, I am not sick. I am going to have a baby!
We met with the certified nurse midwife yesterday. Our appointment was at her home office and of course we arrived early. She didn't mind, invited us in and we sat down in a cozy room. She asked a couple of basic questions: where we lived, my due date, what week I was in and confirmed that we were looking to have a home birth.
Then she asked us if we had questions for her. I didn't know where to start, so she did. She practiced originally as a labor and delivery nurse starting in 1986 and then began doing home birthing in 1997 after going to midwifery school and doing an internship. She has delivered over 700 babies and assisted with another 1100 births.
She told us about her track record for home births. With her first time mothers have a 10% transfer rate to a hospital. That is pretty good, I had read it was 25% on average. She has never needed to do a transfusion for a mother although she could. She told us about her experience with different situations and what she would do. Her level of knowledge and confidence really made me feel comfortable. An OB would never do this - they wouldn't be expected to defend themselves and prove that they would be a good doctor for you.
She asked us to tell her about the pregnancy and what we were looking for in a birthing experience and why. I told her about the miscarriages and who we were currently seeing for care. I told her that I wanted to be home with my family included, if they want to be. I said I would like to invite my mother and father-in-laws and my brother and sister-in-law. (I think my brother would jump out of his skin, but I would invite him anyhow.) I said I wanted it to be fully natural and not be rushed. I didn't want things to spin out of control, which I think happens in hospitals far too often. She nodded a lot and asked questions that ensured me that she was listening to what I was saying and not just planning on what to say next.
She told us that she could do all of the prenatal care from here on out and we wouldn't need to continue going to the OB or perinatal group. She said she is affiliated with an OB in Morristown if we do run into any problems before 37 weeks. I told her that we had one more appointment in 5 weeks at the perinatal group for an ultrasound to check for growth. She said it wasn't necessary for us to continue to have ultrasounds and that the development of the baby could be palpated at this point. I wondered why my OB never did that.
I don't really have a problem leaving the OBs, frankly, I am glad to leave them. There are 3 doctors there and although they are very nice, they don't know me from Adam. In fact, they have gotten our due date wrong several times and keep asking the same questions about the previous miscarriages over and over even though this is all in my chart. The only thing they do every 4 weeks is check my blood pressure, weight, check my urine for protein and sugar, check the fetal heartbeat and then send me on my way. It always seems like a waste of time for us.
On the other hand, the perinatal group does all of the ultrasounds. It's wonderful getting to see Piper moving around inside me. They usually print out a few pictures for us to take home. Since we have now 'graduated' and don't need to be seen every two weeks, it seems like this is just going to be a novelty to keep seeing her through ultrasounds.
Now we have to decide whether we will go to the scheduled ultrasound appointment. The midwife said we didn't need to, but she didn't say we couldn't go. It's up to us. Griffin and I talked about it afterwords. He said he would be fine going one more time. The real question is whether he would be fine not going one more time. That is the question.
I have read over and over that ultrasounds in the third trimester are not necessary unless there is a problem, but we like the ultrasounds. It's so cool to see her and not just feel her inside me. I believe the next ultrasound would be our last one anyhow, so how could one more hurt? Do we care that it is unnecessary? Maybe this is why health insurance costs so much. Well, we have time to think about it.
We talked for almost an hour with the midwife. She asked questions, we asked questions and I felt like I knew more about her in one hour than I know about the OB I have been seeing for the last 2 years. It's a much more personal experience.
We told her that we were considering a waterbirth and she said she does a lot of them. She explained what we would need to get and how the logistics would work. It seemed to be pretty much as I had read.
I asked her again if she thought we were good candidates for home birth and she agreed. She said it's not for everyone and she can usually tell after speaking with a couple whether it is a good option for them. She said she would not take on anyone for home birthing that she thought could not handle it or if it would be too risky for mother and child.
Finally she told us that we would need to get a copy of my records from my OB's office. I thought about how fat my chart now was: filled with information about failed pregnancies. It also has all of the information from the NJ Perinatal Association. So much stuff that we want to put behind us. My only fear is telling the OB that we don't want to use them anymore. I don't know why that scares me. When we were there last time and I asked about a midwife, I could almost see the hackles going up on the doctor. They can't say 'no', can they?
We left the appointment feeling really positive about the whole thing. I asked Griffin if I sounded like a nut talking to her and he reassured me that I didn't. My reasons for wanting a home birth are equal parts emotional and logical. The thought of going to the hospital to deliver Piper makes my skin crawl. The last 4 times I was in a hospital was to have another failed pregnancy removed. I don't associate hospitals with anything good. Hospitals are where you go if you are sick, I am not sick. I am going to have a baby!
Friday, January 22, 2010
What Are You - Crazy?
21 Weeks
The pregnancy has been going along swimmingly. It's amazing how I am actually thinking about the process of giving birth now. Part of me thought for a long time that I might never get there. It's as if I feared my body would just keep rejecting the idea of incubating this creature for a full nine months, but now, I am thinking it will actually happen. Therefore, I have been thinking about how I want this to happen.
We watched the movie "The Business of Being Born" and another movie "Pregnant in America" - okay, not just movies, documentaries. They both dealt with different birthing options and focused on natural childbirth and home birthing. The idea of giving birth at home initially seemed insane to me. It's unsanitary! There is dog and cat hair on the rug and crumbs in the kitchen! But when I start to think about hospitals, I think that that is where you go when you are sick. I am pregnant, not sick. I don't need an operation, I need to do what women have done for thousands of years.
Americans are obsessed with the idea of health care, but health care to many of us is having a doctor cure what is wrong with us by taking a pill or preforming an operation. If we examine our lifestyle, what we eat and how we live, perhaps we may find with a few changes we don't need so much 'health care'.
I used to think that there was no way I could stand the pain of expelling an eight pound baby from my body, but over the last few years that has changed. I have experienced pain, both physical and emotional, that I never thought I could endure. The pain of labor, the process of delivering this much desired, much anticipated baby will be nothing like the pain I went through this summer having to end my pregnancy at 20 weeks.
I told a young friend of mine that Griffin and I were considering home birth and she was appalled. She had the same reaction that everyone does - what if something goes wrong? How will you get to the hospital in time? Women give birth in hospitals all the time and end up with problems that doctors can't fix. The infant mortality rate in the United States is higher than virtually every other first world country. Why? Perhaps because we treat birthing as a health care issue and not as a natural process.
We have an appointment at the OB today. I will be proposing home birth with a midwife to them. What do you think the response will be?
Tune in later for the exciting results!
___________________________________________
And now the exciting conclusion....
The nurse took my weight and blood pressure. All fine. Gained a few more pounds. BP nice and normal. The doc came in and talked about blood test results and the level II ultrasound results. She talked as if it might be the first time we were hearing this information. I chuckled to myself. Did she think we would sit idly by and wait to hear about results days and weeks later? She checked by fetal heartbeat. Nice and regular. Of course, the NJPA group at St. Barnabas does that and a lot more every two weeks, the nurse that shoots me in the ass every Thursday checks it too and I have a home FH doppler, so I can check it too. I waited for the moment to ask.
Any questions? Yes. Are you affiliated with any midwives? A look of alarm passed over her face. The answer was no. Not surprising. She told me there were some midwives that worked out of the hospital in their own group. And then she started in on how I need to continue being under their care. I told her I had every intention continuing my monitoring, but this was about the birth.
She told me that they were willing for me to have as natural of a birth as possible at the hospital. I smiled and nodded. She reminded me that this is still considered a high risk pregnancy. Did she need to even mention that? I am well-aware, thank you. When I assured her that I would continue my care she seemed to relax a bit.
Ultimately, she conceded. As long as the rest of the pregnancy is as normal as the first half has been, she supposed it would be alright to use a midwife. I nodded. It didn't really matter what she said, we are going to do what we want anyhow. Of course I didn't mention that I wanted to do this at home. Perhaps I would save that tidbit for another time. I would like to speak to a few midwives first and pick one that has similar views to ours. I don't think that will be hard to find.
I was very happy to see that my insurance does cover care by a midwife. There are board certified midwives that are in my insurance plan and somehow that certification means a lot to me.
We have another appointment at the NJPA high risk pregnancy group on Monday. Maybe I will bring up the home birthing there and see what their reaction is like. I find it all a bit amusing. "What are you - crazy?" There's nothing natural about having a baby.....
The pregnancy has been going along swimmingly. It's amazing how I am actually thinking about the process of giving birth now. Part of me thought for a long time that I might never get there. It's as if I feared my body would just keep rejecting the idea of incubating this creature for a full nine months, but now, I am thinking it will actually happen. Therefore, I have been thinking about how I want this to happen.
We watched the movie "The Business of Being Born" and another movie "Pregnant in America" - okay, not just movies, documentaries. They both dealt with different birthing options and focused on natural childbirth and home birthing. The idea of giving birth at home initially seemed insane to me. It's unsanitary! There is dog and cat hair on the rug and crumbs in the kitchen! But when I start to think about hospitals, I think that that is where you go when you are sick. I am pregnant, not sick. I don't need an operation, I need to do what women have done for thousands of years.
Americans are obsessed with the idea of health care, but health care to many of us is having a doctor cure what is wrong with us by taking a pill or preforming an operation. If we examine our lifestyle, what we eat and how we live, perhaps we may find with a few changes we don't need so much 'health care'.
I used to think that there was no way I could stand the pain of expelling an eight pound baby from my body, but over the last few years that has changed. I have experienced pain, both physical and emotional, that I never thought I could endure. The pain of labor, the process of delivering this much desired, much anticipated baby will be nothing like the pain I went through this summer having to end my pregnancy at 20 weeks.
I told a young friend of mine that Griffin and I were considering home birth and she was appalled. She had the same reaction that everyone does - what if something goes wrong? How will you get to the hospital in time? Women give birth in hospitals all the time and end up with problems that doctors can't fix. The infant mortality rate in the United States is higher than virtually every other first world country. Why? Perhaps because we treat birthing as a health care issue and not as a natural process.
We have an appointment at the OB today. I will be proposing home birth with a midwife to them. What do you think the response will be?
Tune in later for the exciting results!
___________________________________________
And now the exciting conclusion....
The nurse took my weight and blood pressure. All fine. Gained a few more pounds. BP nice and normal. The doc came in and talked about blood test results and the level II ultrasound results. She talked as if it might be the first time we were hearing this information. I chuckled to myself. Did she think we would sit idly by and wait to hear about results days and weeks later? She checked by fetal heartbeat. Nice and regular. Of course, the NJPA group at St. Barnabas does that and a lot more every two weeks, the nurse that shoots me in the ass every Thursday checks it too and I have a home FH doppler, so I can check it too. I waited for the moment to ask.
Any questions? Yes. Are you affiliated with any midwives? A look of alarm passed over her face. The answer was no. Not surprising. She told me there were some midwives that worked out of the hospital in their own group. And then she started in on how I need to continue being under their care. I told her I had every intention continuing my monitoring, but this was about the birth.
She told me that they were willing for me to have as natural of a birth as possible at the hospital. I smiled and nodded. She reminded me that this is still considered a high risk pregnancy. Did she need to even mention that? I am well-aware, thank you. When I assured her that I would continue my care she seemed to relax a bit.
Ultimately, she conceded. As long as the rest of the pregnancy is as normal as the first half has been, she supposed it would be alright to use a midwife. I nodded. It didn't really matter what she said, we are going to do what we want anyhow. Of course I didn't mention that I wanted to do this at home. Perhaps I would save that tidbit for another time. I would like to speak to a few midwives first and pick one that has similar views to ours. I don't think that will be hard to find.
I was very happy to see that my insurance does cover care by a midwife. There are board certified midwives that are in my insurance plan and somehow that certification means a lot to me.
We have another appointment at the NJPA high risk pregnancy group on Monday. Maybe I will bring up the home birthing there and see what their reaction is like. I find it all a bit amusing. "What are you - crazy?" There's nothing natural about having a baby.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
