How Non-Conventional Can You Get?

38 weeks, 5 days.

There are many ways to spin a breech baby. Some seem obvious and straightforward - like having a doctor manipulate your baby and physically turn her around and some are a little less concrete. Well, as I found out, straightforward is not that simple, but there are other things that can be done, from logical to mystical, I am trying them all. Let's see, what have I done so far?

Inversions. This is pretty easy for most people to do, most non-pregnant people anyhow. An inversion is meant to get the baby's feet or butt out of your pelvis so she will be free to turn around. There are a variety of ways to do it, but simply put, you need to raise your hips 12 inches or more above your shoulders. I have done this while lying on an ironing board leaning against the couch, by piling up couch cushions and lying on them on the couch or floor and by kneeling on a chair and putting my hands and face on the floor. To some degree or another, they kick my heartburn in, so it is a bit uncomfortable to say the least. Nothing seems to happen, but Piper is not in pelvis, so that's something, I suppose.

Exercises. Pelvic tilts, cat stretches, crawling and rocking. I have been on my knees a lot, waving my butt around like a feline in heat. So much so, that my knees are getting sore. All of these exercises are supposed to be done when the baby is active, so at random moments during the day I leap off the couch, and crawl around on the floor like a bulldog with my hips higher than my shoulders. If anyone was watching me they would think I have serious problems, none of which having to do with a breech baby. I don't know if they are doing anything to help encourage Piper to turn, but my arms are getting rather shapely.

Hammock Belly. Either on my hands and knees or by trying to rest face-down in a pile of carefully placed pillows, I try to relax my belly and make it loose and free like a hammock for Piper. The idea is to get her to float around and allow her to turn, and again, I am supposed to do this when she is active. Every time she starts rolling around, I drop to my hands and knees and try to make the 'belly hammock', but it's like it scares her and she stops moving. As soon as I get up and resume what I was doing, she goes back to moving and kicking like it's some kind of game.

Acupuncture. The Chinese have been doing it for 3000 years, they must know something, right? Well, maybe. I have gone to 5 sessions with an acupuncture group located in Morristown, about 40 minutes from us. Now, I hate needles, fear and dread them, however, acupuncture is not like having a needle. They are fairly painless and if you don't ever look at them it's not bad at all. There is a point on the outside of the pinkie toe that, when stimulated, is supposed to encourage the baby to move into the vertex position. It gives you mild contractions and really wakes the spawn up. There are also a bunch of other spots that help increase blood flow, so they stuck me all over. I was surprised at how quickly she started reacting to the first session. Within five minutes of being turned into a human pincushion, Piper was kicking and flopping about. No spinning though.

Moxabustion. Along with the acupuncture, you can stimulate that point on the pinkie toe with what is essentially a giant incense stick. It gets very, very hot and you hold it near your toe to activate the point. This, even more so than the acupuncture got things moving. They acupuncturist gave me some to take home and and I instructed Griffin on how to do it to my toes. It really gets Piper moving and gives me long lasting contractions, but she hasn't gotten the idea yet.

Webster Technique. If I was skeptical about acupuncture, you could say I am downright dubious of chiropractors. Even when I had that terrible sciatica, I refused to see a chiropractor, I would rather suffer. It's funny what desperation will drive you to. For me, it drove me to Livingston! That's about 50 minutes from our home. At least I am smart enough to make back-to-back appointments. I would go to the chiro and then the acupuncturist. It made for a very long day. The chiropractor did 'tests' on my spine and told me that my pelvis and neck were out of whack. He wanted to 'adjust' both. I told him to forget about touching my neck. I was here simply for the baby stuff. The Webster Technique is supposed to help align and open to pelvis so the baby has room to turn. Nothing seemed to be happening, except that my wallet was becoming thinner with the $10 copays. The more I went there, the more I felt it was a waste of time. 5 sessions and I was done with him. Of course, they he thinks it is 'crucial' that I keep coming in, but honestly, my back is starting to hurt me!

Self-Hypnosis. I believe in the power of my brain. I can analyze and figure out complex problems, I can create works of art and I can write for hours on end, but can I use my brain to turn my baby? Well, I have been listening and participating along with a baby turning-self-hypnosis program. It is very relaxing and makes me lie still for 40 minutes. Part of the process is envisioning your baby turning and staying in the vertex position. I have a hard time with this because I can't picture Piper. She is still the giant squirrel that rolls around in my belly and kicks me. I am not good at picturing babies, but I have been trying. I will continue to do this until there is no time left. At least it is relaxing.

Swimming. Well, we live on a lake, but it is only May. After my last acupuncture session yesterday, I decided to force myself into the lake. I hate lakes, almost as much as I hate needles. I love to look at lakes, but swimming in them is revolting to me, but I am stubborn. So when I got home I put on a tankini that looked totally bizarre with my great, big pregnant belly and I walked down to our dock. There was green mucky algae floating in clumps and within minutes I was surrounded by dozens of hungry fish. The water was fairly clear and I could see the slimy rocks below the dock. I decided I needed my water shoes. So I went back in the house and got my Keens. Good thing my feet aren't swelling too much anymore; I got them on fairly easily. I marched back down to the dock, braced myself and climbed in. I half doggie-paddled, half breast stroked my way out into the lake. The breast stroke is supposed to encourage the baby to turn around. Swimming with Keens on isn't really easy, but it kept the fish from eating my feet. I did a bunch of laps until I was panting and climbed out, collapsing into the deck chair on the dock. It felt good despite the lake-ieness of it all. I will try to swim everyday now.

Mayan Abdominal Massage. Today, I start something new. This is supposed to help relax and open the uterus for the baby to turn. It's an ancient technique that has resurfaced in massage therapy. Didn't all of the Mayans mysteriously disappear? Anyhow. It's something else to try. Of course, I hate massages. At least ones from strangers. Having some random person touching and rubbing my bare skin is a little too personal for me, however, if it will prevent have some random person cut me open like a fillet-o-fish to get Piper out, I will give it a shot. My appointment is at 6:45 today, so I have lots of time to do all of my at home exercises.

Even if I don't get this baby to turn and end up the dreaded c-section, I really feel like I deserve a gold star for working so hard at trying to turn her so we can have the birth we envisioned. Yup, stick a great, bit gold star right on my forehead. Good try there, lady.