I am not a hippie. Never have been. In fact I despise being called one or even compared to one. I have never smoked pot or anything else for that matter. I have only learned to like the Grateful Dead over the last decade or so. I have never been to a lovefest, wanted dreadlocks or hairy armpits. I like wearing make-up, a bra, being clean and listening to music with clever lyrics without 20 minutes of groovy noodling. That being said...
All my life people have called me a hippie. I am an artist, a vegetarian, a nature lover and enjoy a simple lifestyle. I value things that are real and made from earthly sources. I am concerned about my impact on the planet and strive daily to do a better job lessening that impact. I spend a lot of time thinking: about how life is changing, what all the modern conveniences mean to us and the earth, how things are made, why there is such a rise in childhood illness, and how we have gotten so far away from respecting and listening to our bodies.
Growing up I always felt more connected to nature than to man. My family lived in a suburban neighborhood and our backyard backed up to a huge lot of land. The ownership of the land changed hands many times while we lived there, but it was never developed. It was mostly swampland. Wetlands with streams and spongy pathways. It must have been hundreds of acres all together. There were paths made by deer and paths made by kids on bikes. I walked them all and knew the woods by heart.
I had few friends growing up, usually one close friendship at a time. I didn't keep most of them for more than a year. I drifted from relationship to relationship. It was difficult to make a long-standing connection. From the age of about seven to twelve I found it difficult to make friends and spent a lot of time alone. When I grew into a teenager, I became a little more willing to accept the company of others. During that period in my life when I spend a lot of time alone, I actually wasn't alone. I had my pets to keep me company. I really felt a strong connection with the animals in my life; I still do.
There is something wondrous about an animal that just 'gets' you and one that you 'get' as well. Non-verbal communication is subtle and natural. It's easy to do when you are aware of your body and are willing to spend time observing instead of imposing your will on others. One of my cats growing up, Snuffy, was one of the first animals that I had a great connection with. We would spend hours walking around the woods together. Sometimes I would start walking from our backyard onto one of the main paths and he would just appear beside me. He was very mysterious. I could occupy myself for hours in the woods and Snuffy would hang around the whole time observing me. I spent a lot of time watching him as well.
Cats have a way of enjoying life that is nothing short of admirable. They enjoy the warmth of the sun, at virtually any age still have the desire to play, they have and use their imaginations regularly, are filled with patience and a keen sense of observation and they exude confidence. When I was a child, I wanted to be like a cat: clever, playful, brave. I still do. I want life to be simple, real, full of thought and pleasure. I am always looking for ways to strip things down to something more simple and natural. Simplicity gives me a great sense of peace.
I always tell my students to work conservatively. Less is more, sometimes. You can always add more later, it is very hard to take it away once it is down on paper or fixed in your life. A slow building up is easier to control than a wild, fast whip-up. I find this is true for most things in life. Things can spin wildly out of control if you don't choose to keep things simple to begin with. Even if your initial intention is to have things simple, it is still easy to let that ideal slip from your grasp if you are not careful.
I was angry for a while this morning. Generally, I am a very accepting of other people's ideas and beliefs, but I consider myself an outsider when it comes to the common public. I do not feel like I strongly connect to any group of people: politically, creatively, in my employment, and certainly not religiously. I am more of an observer than a joiner. I used to hold others in contempt for their narrow minds and idiotic ways, but teaching for 12 years has helped me accept that people will think and act foolishly, without forethought or hindsight. I have learned this from observing not only the teenagers in my classroom, but also many of the colleagues I work with both past and present. It is one thing to neglect to think before acting, but it is far worse to make mistakes and never learn from them.
I like to tell people that I act very conservatively and it is the truth by definition. Before I do anything that may have a significant impact on my life or anyone else's, I like to do some reading, some research and gather a few opinions on the matter. I like to ensure that I will be doing the very best thing I can, in the most basic manner possible, with the least amount of negative impact. It is not selflessness that I strive for, but balance and harmony and fairness. Moderate and cautious.
People who call themselves politically conservative fall into a fairly wide range of individual thought and I accept that. However, it is those who cling to conservatism and blindly follow their leaders who infuriate me. I know a young fellow, who seemed nice enough when we met, is just such a person. He seems to blindly follow the rhetoric of his party without consideration of life or the world around him. His reactions are rash and without moderation and he seems to be a miserable person. He focuses on everything that is negative and views 'liberalism' as a disease. I know others who call themselves conservative, but retain a bit of humanistic flexibility. Without that flexibility, I feel you loose a bit of your gentle humanness.
Why is it that the conservative political party is called 'conservative' at all? They do not believe in acting in a matter of lower impact, it seems to be just the opposite: let selfishness rule and disregard the rest of humanity and nature. Instead of looking for the most 'conservative' route to energy, health and life, they seem to be liberal in their willingness to destroy all the things we depend upon. How can there be a single person left who is not concerned about the environment? How can there be anyone who thinks there should be people who do not deserve enough heath care to avoid sickness? How can anyone still think that we should still be drilling for oil and natural gas in pristine, wild lands and let the planet be damned? How can anyone think it is okay to throw their trash out their car window or put recyclables in the regular trash? (Yes, I am talking to you!)
Maybe it is because I am having a baby and I am thinking more and more about what the world will be like when she is older. Maybe I have always been this way and I am just bolder about stating how I feel. I have never been a sheep, I have never followed the flock, and now, more than ever, I feel it is important to think about our impact on everything and everyone around us. I want a natural home birth, a breastfed baby, wrapped in cloth diapers, playing with environmentally sustainable toys. I want to be more gentle to the planet and to my body. I want to make the smallest negative impact and the largest positive impact that I can. I want to live minimally, and simply. I am conservative! But not like that . . .
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment